Sober Hot Takes: My Controversial Opinions About Sobriety

In this episode of 'The Sober Butterfly', host Nadine delves into the controversial gray areas of sobriety, challenging usual narratives and questioning the necessity of permanent sobriety. She discusses her personal journey, sharing that sobriety does not need to be a lifelong commitment for everyone, the over-glorification of sobriety on social media, and the criticism sober individuals face. Nadine argues that being sober doesn't inherently make someone a better person and expresses that it's normal to grieve your old lifestyle. She also addresses the elitism in the wellness industry linked to sobriety and advocates for more accessible and compassionate approaches like harm reduction. By offering her unique perspectives, Nadine encourages listeners to reflect on their own sobriety journey, underlining the importance of personal choice and authenticity.

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https://www.instagram.com/the.soberbutterfly/

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Episodes Mentioned:
Taboo Topics in Sobriety ft. Keisha (Done With Debauchery)

Meeting People Where They Are: Destigmatizing Harm Reduction with Dr. Delores Blackwell

Exploring Medium Fun and Need For Non-Alcoholic Spaces: A Sober Chat with Sam Bail, Founder of The Third Place Bar

Stop Overspending on 'Self-Care' in Sobriety: How to Reframe Toxic Spending Habits with Financial Coach Rachel Talks Money 

Transcript

the-sober-butterfly_4_10-03-2024_102128: 0:03

Hello, hello, and welcome back to the Sober Butterfly. I am your host, Nadine. And today we are diving into a spicy, thought provoking episode that might ruffle a few feathers, but hey, that's what I'm here for, right? Sobriety is a journey, but it's not always black and white. There are so many gray areas and today I'm going to talk about them. In this episode, I'll be sharing some of my most controversial opinions about sobriety. Keep in mind that this episode is all about my controversial opinions about sobriety. I've been sober for three years or maybe more. I don't know, a week, depending on if you heard last week's episode with my accidental relapse. I digress. Anyway, this week's episode we're talking about things that challenge the usual narratives and force us to ask ourselves some really hard questions. For example, is sobriety really a one size fits all? Can you be Kali sober and still call yourself sober? Is the sobriety movement unintentionally creating its own set of unrealistic expectations? And what about the idea that not everyone needs to stay sober forever? Yep, we're going there. So whether you're all in on sobriety, sober, curious, or still figuring it out, this episode is going to get you thinking in ways you might not expect. Get ready for an open, honest conversation about the messy, complicated, and sometimes controversial world of sobriety. Let's get into it.

the-sober-butterfly_6_10-03-2024_102451: 1:34

Okay, so my very first controversial opinion in regards to sobriety is that I don't think it needs to be forever. I don't think sobriety needs to be permanent for everyone. I have been very open on this podcast and on pretty much any platform I'm a part of how much sobriety has transformed my life and how I never plan on going back to the place I was before I got sober, AKA drinking and doing drugs. And saying that, I also recognize that that is an individual choice, and not everyone needs to subscribe to this idea that sobriety needs to be forever. A question that I get asked quite often from friends, from followers online. That is a question related to time, right? Nadine, do you plan on being sober forever? Or a variation of that question is, will you ever drink again? And once again, I have no desire to ever drink again just because I've seen how much my life has gone. Grown and all of the progress and amazing things that I've accomplished since removing alcohol. I also don't believe that there are any health benefits to drinking, and if someone could counter that argument, I would be the first person open to listening. I love a good spirited debate, pun intended. However, I just don't think that the science or I don't think the data. Showcases this idea that drinking is beneficial in any way, especially in regards to health and I'm somewhat of a health nut. I care very much about trying to optimize my health and my overall life and alcohol is just not conducive to that. me getting sober July 5th, 2021 was intentional. Like I very much said to myself, okay, I need to take a break. I need to stop drinking, but there was this duality that existed at that time for me, which was, I knew I that alcohol is playing a much bigger role in my life than I wanted it to. But in saying that I also wasn't prepared to never drink again. Like that was not what I set out to do when I decided to stop drinking. I treated it like a social experiment. I just wanted to see how I would feel after removing this toxic substance from my life. Now, fast forward three years, I feel amazing, and so that's why I have no plans to ever drink again. However, But I think if I had gone into it with this idea that sobriety needs to be permanent, like a permanent lifestyle shift, or a forever thing, I actually don't think I probably would have gotten sober if I'm keeping it 100 with you guys. I think this idea of sobriety has to be permanent. A lifelong endeavor is really daunting and intimidating and can keep a lot of people drinking just because they don't want to subscribe to this idea that I have to do anything forever. Like that is really, really overwhelming. So going back to that question, Nadine, will you ever drink again? And when people ask me if I plan on staying sober forever, once again, individually speaking for myself, yes, my plan is to never drink again. And I plan on staying sober for the rest of my life. But I also add a little caveat there for people, for listeners at home, especially if you're sober curious or you're not sober, like that does not have to be your story. Okay. Treat it like a social experiment and ask yourself, well, what would happen if I removed alcohol? How would I feel? Keep the data, keep track of the qualitative and quantitative data. When I say qualitative data, I'm referring to how you feel. Like literally journal and see all the ways in which your life has changed since quitting or removing alcohol. And then in terms of quantitative data, that can be anything from weighing yourself, did you lose weight because you're no longer drinking? And we know that's pretty much empty calories. And then of course, when you drink, you're more liberal with your diet. For example, I was always the girl after the club that would be looking for a food truck so I could get my French fries, you know, Quantitative data can also look like metrics related to work. I used to call out of work a lot. When I was drinking, because I would be so hung over so quantitatively speaking, the data shows that I go to work more often Just being honest and open with yourself and then having some self awareness to actually keep track of the progress that you're making, because I can only assume that Making assumptions here, but I can only assume that your life will only improve from removing alcohol and giving sobriety a try, but only you can really answer that question. So I encourage people to think about that. And if you are sober and people are coming to you with that same question, give them a little bit of an out, right

the-sober-butterfly_7_10-03-2024_103326: 6:20

I'm just reminding folks at home and also myself that sobriety does not have to be permanent for everyone and not everyone needs to stay sober forever. Depending on their reasons for getting sober and the season of their life.

the-sober-butterfly_9_10-03-2024_103649: 6:35

Okay, so my second controversial sober opinion is something I am guilty of guilty as charged. I'm just going to put that out there before I even tell you what it is, but basically I believe that sobriety is over glorified. On social media, hear me out sobriety is having a moment and I'm all the way here for it. I'm so on board the sobriety train and I love to showcase all of the wonderful ways in which my life has improved since getting sober. But here's the thing. It is hard. Okay. Getting sober is not easy. Maintaining sobriety is not easy, and I like to showcase on my social media. So if you go to the Sober Butterfly on any of my social handles, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, you name it, I am showcasing the fun and the beauty and all of the glamorous aspects of how sobriety has transformed my life, because I believe that it has, but I will also be the first to admit that When you portray sobriety in a constant state of positivity, that can maybe feel alienating for those people who are struggling with some of the challenges in sobriety and in recovery. And I recognize that and I am trying to do better because there is also like a classism thing when it comes to sobriety slash wellness, social influencers and content creators, I think we all try to portray our lives in the highest form, right? Like, I'm not going to be the type of creator that is posting when I'm crying or when my apartment looks a hot mess. But maybe I need to. Maybe I need to do more of that because I do remember getting sober three years ago and how hard it was and how it wasn't an easy, seamless process. process for me. I tried moderating before I got sober, wasn't very good at that. Then I tried sobriety and I had a small stint for about three weeks and then relapsed before I actually got sober for real. I think sometimes when you've gone through this journey after several years, you forget maybe like how it is in the beginning. I've shared on this podcast, how I turned to social media as a form of community when I was looking to get sober, because I didn't know many people in my everyday life who were sober. And so these online sobriety accounts really, really helped me. I gravitate towards humor and lightness and fun, which is why my Page reflects a lot of those themes, however,, I gloss over some of the more challenging aspects of sobriety and when I start thinking about What's a plug for this, for this podcast or for my social media accounts, I never want it to be too curated. Like, of course, I have to prepare and do a little bit of behind the scenes to make sure that things look good and are presentable for the world. However, sometimes when we over curate, we. We diminish the realness and I don't want to quote unquote be too glossy or fake or Be not seen as my true authentic self and I am a mess like today I just posted something that resonated with me because it was just like nobody has all their shit together No one even sober people. So it's just a friendly reminder that we You know, are all human. We are humanly imperfect. And sometimes we do too good of a job. Maybe once again, I'm speaking for myself, but also as an extension to the sober community, maybe we do too much to portray sobriety as this amazing life changing. I'm going to fix all of your problems. Solution and it's not, it's just not, um, there is no such thing. And I think on that note, something else that I wanted to touch on under this idea that sobriety is over glorified on social is the wellness industry, because I think by extension sobriety is connected to the wellness industry. And I think the wellness industry exploits sober people. I think that the wellness industry profits off of sober people by selling expensive products in the name of wellness. And one of my favorite episodes from this podcast was when I sat down with Rachel Talks Money she's been on the show a couple of times, but on our first episode, we did a whole thing, which I'll plug in the show notes for people who may not have caught this episode, but we did a whole show about how basically sobriety doesn't have to be expensive because we often do things in the name of self care that can be really detrimental to our Bottom line or our pockets, basically. I thought of that in terms of how wellness products like non alcoholic drinks and spirits and supplements and sober retreats aren't always, you know, accessible to everyone. First of all, that's like the first part of the problem. And then also it doesn't once again, fix. Anything it's just another form of commercialization. And I think sometimes sobriety can make people feel elitist and alienate people once again, who don't have the means to afford these lifestyle upgrades. So just thinking about. All of that in connection to how we over glorify sobriety on social and once again, I will plug the episode because it is a really, really great episode. And it talks a lot about how we look for hits of dopamine. And when I was drinking alcohol would be a form of me getting that fix of dopamine. However, When I removed that toxic substance, I kind of picked up on some other toxic habits related to overspending and shopping. So sobriety does not have to be expensive and you don't need to do all the things like make all the mocktails or spend all of your money on all of these different like wellness products in the sake of improving or enhancing your sobriety. Like that is not necessary and we should not be showcasing that. All the time on social media, but that being said, I am a business still. I'm a person, but, you know, this podcast is more than just a hobby for me. So I do have affiliate marketing and I do plug things, but I plug things that I believe in, like audible, who's a sponsor of the show, because I believe educating yourself and personal development is priceless. with that being said,

13:02

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the-sober-butterfly_10_10-03-2024_104614: 14:30

Welcome back. So before the break, we were looking at two controversial opinions. I have shared about sobriety. So once again, number one was sobriety does not need to be forever. Not everyone needs to permanently be sober. And then the second controversial idea I had is that sobriety is over glorified on social media. Now, my third controversial sober opinion is that sober people can be hypercritical about other addictions, which to me is just seems counterintuitive. You would think that people who are sober would have a little bit more empathy or grace when it comes to understanding the nuance and complexities of addictions. But I think sometimes there's a shift when you get sober. I guess I'm just going to say it. I feel like some people can be holier than thou, and it's like, oh, I'm sober. I've overcome this big thing. Or maybe you're just sober because you're sober and you don't like alcohol, you don't like drugs or whatever. But I just think sometimes we get a little bit too judgy for my taste, for others, whether we're judging people who are not in the community. Whether we're judging people for their drug of choice or for drinking alcohol, and I think this is a good reminder that addiction manifests in many forms, and I could argue that we're all addicted to something, whether that's alcohol. food or caffeine or social media or smoking. I don't think that anyone is really free, completely free from an addiction. Maybe that in and of itself is a controversial opinion, but I just think it's like when you point the finger others Three more are pointing back to you My mom always used to say that growing up and I do think that's true Like why are you so concerned about what other people are doing over there or turning your nose up to is it turning your nose up or is it turning your nose down? I have no idea. Anyway, um, but you get what I'm saying, like how we are judging basically other people for their lifestyle choices instead of focusing on ourselves. Another example of how I feel that sober people can be hypercritical is when it comes to harm reduction. Now, for those who are maybe unfamiliar with this term of harm reduction, it's a public health strategy aimed at minimizing the negative consequences of drug use without necessarily requiring absolute abstinence. What does that mean? Basically what it is, is a more pragmatic approach to addressing substance use and it reduces the risk and the harms associated with using a drug of choice or, you know, alcohol rather than promoting a quote zero tolerance stance. And the idea of it is that it's supposed to be nonjudgmental. Um, because some people are not ready to, or able to stop using substances completely. So instead of judging them, you're meeting them where they are. I actually did an episode in my first season of the show, which I'll plug in the show notes with a doctor who was connected to a public health organization. She was amazing. And she was just explaining how, like, there is harm reduction in all aspects of our community. I think she even used seatbelts. As an example of that, because if you go into a car cars can be considered fatal there's lots of accidents that happen putting on a seatbelt is a way in which you are preventing or reducing the risk of something harmful happening. I don't know if that's a perfect anecdote, but that was something that stood out to me. So it's basically a way. Of offering safer alternatives to risky behaviors, and I'm not saying that getting in the car is risky. I hope you understand that. some forms of harm reduction is like needle exchange programs. So doctors or clinicians will provide clean needles for people who are intravenous drug users. they even have supervised injection sites or locations where people can use drugs in a safe environment under medical supervision, which obviously can prevent overdoses and promote safer use. Those are just two examples, but I have literally been in sober circles. I'm not going to say which at this time, but I've been sober social circles, that's a tongue twister, social sober circles, um, where some critics will argue that harm reduction, quote, enables substance use, or it delays full recovery. And I just want to push back on this idea, because as a harm reduction advocate, I believe it's a necessary step to keep people safe. And it does provide a pathway to recovery, but for those who seek it, because I also believe that, you know, You can only recover or become sober if you want to, if you're able and willing and so I see harm reduction as a compassionate and practical approach that values incremental progress, like not everything needs to happen immediately. Overnight this one big proclamation of sobriety. Every individual should have their own autonomy and say, so long as they're not harming other people in the process. Just don't believe in the one size fits all. Sobriety process or recovery. Harm reduction was 1 way. I wanted to touch on that, but also. Cannabis, psychedelics, drugs, quote, I'm quoting this idea of drugs, but when people use marijuana or psychedelics, for medicinal or healing or wellness purposes, I've done an episode with Keisha, who I miss so much, Keisha come back, Keisha, had a podcast called Done with debauchery and her and I shot an episode about taboo topics is similar to this episode, but we went in depth about this idea of Cali sober. So I will also plug, but I'm just plugging all my former episodes here, but long story short, this idea of being Cali sober. Does that make you sober? I don't know. I don't think that I am the authority on this idea of what makes someone sober or not. I think that. It's all about intention. It's all about how you are choosing to use a substance like marijuana or mushrooms or ayahuasca. There are different ceremonies people do to get in touch with their inner selves or just deeper parts of themselves and. Those things often are considered to be a form of therapy, so I don't like when people judge others for being, quote, Cali sober or for going to a ceremony like an ayahuasca or doing mushrooms because they want to feel closer to God. Like, I don't know, just putting things out there. I just believe that everyone should have. The choice and once again, so long as you're being honest with yourself and you're not deluding yourself into believing that you can handle the substance. If you can't handle it in a semi responsible way. I don't when I say semi responsible. I'm not trying to be funny, like, I don't know if you can responsibly ingest these substances, but I'm just putting that out there. It's a choice that everyone needs to make for themselves if they decide to go on that pathway. So yeah, let's stop being judgy. Don't be judgy. That's not cute.

the-sober-butterfly_11_10-03-2024_105735: 21:58

Okay. Controversial opinion. Number four. This might be my favorite one. Being sober does not automatically make you a better person. I'm going to say it again for the people in the back. Being sober does not make you a better person. I'm sick of people thinking that they are better than other people because they don't drink or do drugs. Listen, the idea that sobriety alone makes someone more virtuous and morally superior is ridiculous. Since I've become a part of this community, I get to meet a lot of people. I'm very fortunate. I feel like I'm connected in the community. I go to sober events. I get to interview amazing guests and I I've got to be a part of other people's shows. And I just feel like there was just so many opportunities that have been presented to me in this sober world. And I'm not going to name names, of course, but let me tell you, there are some sick people in sobriety and getting sober does not mean that you have evolved into a better person. Having membership to this community just does not make you a better person. Maybe you're familiar with this term dry drunk, and I first heard it in AA, and it's basically someone who has quit drinking, but hasn't addressed the emotional, psychological or behavioral issues that contributed to their actual addiction. And while this person is physically sober, so they're not drinking or using or however they define sobriety, they still engage in unhealthy. Maybe like thought patterns or behaviors associated with the addiction. And there are some key aspects of identifying if you are a dry drunk. So I'm going to share those with you because maybe you're scratching your head right now wondering, wait, am I a dry drunk? Am I a dry drunk? So let me just kind of break down. So one of the symptoms you can look for, or I don't want to call it a symptom, but one of the aspects of being a dry drunk is unresolved emotional issues. So if you are someone who struggles with feelings of resentment or anger or irritability or depression, these unresolved emotional issues often mirror the way that you may have felt when you were using said substances, even if you are no longer physically dependent on them. Then we have, old, Okay. Behavior patterns, so even though you're sober, maybe you continue engaging in behaviors that were a part of the addiction that you had. Being manipulative or selfish or dishonest you may also still seek control or engage in addictive like behaviors with other areas of your life. This could be related to relationships or work or food. another thing is the lack of personal growth. So people often argue that. Recovery or sobriety is not just about quitting alcohol. It's also about emotional and psychological transformation and a dry drunk often resist this growth and if you were staying stagnant. And old mindsets and avoiding the deeper self exploration needed for lasting change, then I don't know, you might just be a dry drunk. Um, and then another big thing to look for is. Feeling superior or self righteous. I kind of just touched on this, but if you develop a sense of superiority because you've quit drinking But you're still not addressing the deeper emotional or spiritual aspects of recovery slash sobriety Then this can often lead to judgmental attitudes towards others who are still drinking or struggling with addiction I feel like I already touched on this i'm not going to go too too much in depth here but We, when I say we, I mean, sober people, we should be the most in tune with how it feels to struggle, especially if you overcome something. So keep that in mind. If you're feeling superior, stop because you're not better than anyone. And then lastly, I'll talk about white knuckling. If you are. Abstaining from drinking through sheer willpower without engaging in any type of work, inner work, you're just hanging on to sobriety, but you're not truly enjoying or thriving in your new lifestyle. And I feel sad if that's the case, like, I do feel sad because it's more than just not drinking. I promise. And maybe I'll do another episode about that because I feel like there's just so much nuance there, but it's not black and white. There's a lot of gray area here, but I just wanted to share some of the top like signs that you could be a dry drunk in this episode.

the-sober-butterfly_12_10-03-2024_110442: 26:34

So my final controversial opinion about sobriety is in regards to your old life. I think that it is okay. I would argue it is normal to grieve your old life. I miss some of my social circles that I had, even though I know now that they were toxic, I still miss it. I still miss some days. That carefree life I had before it was chaotic. Don't get me wrong. It was a mess, but sometimes I miss that. Like I miss having smudged eyeliner and waking up after rager and being like, Oh my God, do I have my phone keys wallet? Like, wait, am I in my bed? Like I sometimes miss how feral. That girl was, and that's maybe why I feel so connected to brat summer slash. It's brat fall guys. Yeah, I, I definitely grieve aspects of who I am now, just because I grieve my old lifestyle does not mean that it is threatening. To my sobriety, I don't think that it means that I'm not committed to my sober life. I think it's just, it is what it is. Like, it's, it's like an X that you know, was no good for you. you know, in your heart of hearts. That this person is trash and like, why were you even with them? But at the same time you're like damn we had a time we we we were not good for each other, but we had some moments and Sometimes you just do it for the plot I have stories, like, I'm happy to be an alcoholic because I lived, like, I've lived so many iterations of my life and, please understand, I'm not trying to make light of my addiction. I'm not trying to make light of how I lived my life. And to be honest, I feel protected by God. Although bad things happen to me, a lot worse things could have happened. So I'm not trying to minimize how many terrible situations I found myself in when I was drinking, but I am also like. No regrets. I have zero regrets. I don't regret any of the choices I made because I would not be here today. I just wouldn't be sitting in front of this mic talking to you guys about my controversial sober opinions if it weren't for The amount of life I lived before getting sober. So, yeah, it's okay to admit that you miss drinking even, I would argue. And admitting that you miss drinking is not a sign of failure. It's like, I don't miss drinking, but it's like whatever's adjacent to that would be for me like, I miss. Losing myself, losing the inhibition up to a point, because there are oftentimes, like I said, like, I put myself in terrible compromising situations and I'm like, oh, my God, why? But at the same time, there's something about losing that control as someone that can be a bit of a control freak that made me feel really, really good

30:02

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the-sober-butterfly_12_10-03-2024_110442: 31:43

I don't miss the anxiety, the hangovers, the aftermath of my drinking, but there were times when, if I'm being honest, I felt like I struck an equilibrium in my drinking, because it would be that juncture in the night when I'm drinking, I'm smoking, maybe I'm on something else. And I just felt like this. This um, inner, I don't want to call it peace because I know what peace really feels like now. But there was something I, okay, I'll have to come back to this another time because I haven't fully worked out what it is I'm trying to say in this moment to describe The feeling that I felt when I was happily drinking towards the end of my drinking career. I'll end on this note towards the end of my drinking career. It was really hard for me to get to that place of euphoria. Maybe that's the word I'm looking for. Euphoria, like, It was fabricated. It wasn't a genuine sense of happiness, but the fact that I could fabricate it was fun for me. Like, I enjoyed pushing the limits and, you know, my alcoholic brain loved to see how much I could mix and, you know, figure out how to get completely wasted without hangover or without blacking out. Because. That was hard for me to do, like, find that balance. Anyway, I say a lot to say that this idea of like, all or nothing mentality where you can't miss drinking because you're sober now, and that would be a threat to your sobriety is. I think nonsense. let's be real. We've all had good drunk moments. Otherwise, we probably wouldn't have been drinking. We probably wouldn't have continued chasing whatever it is we were looking for. That euphoria maybe for me. Like, if all of my drunks were bad, I wouldn't have drunk for so long. I can only assume. Now, I would argue I've actually More bad drunk moments than good drunk moments but That's just because I am an extremist and i've always pushed the envelope and I just think that like that is what got me To this place where I knew that I didn't want to keep having those bad moments But i'm a stubborn girl. I was committed to drinking so it took me a long time to get to the point Get to this place, but I just want to say in general that it's okay to grieve your old life. And that does not mean that you're going to relapse or fall back into old patterns, but I would say really explore that and just like I'm trying to process in this moment right now, like, okay, well, what do I miss about my old life? Because when you do think it through and don't try to just quell or squash these feelings, you're like, oh my god, I can't believe I actually have a moment where I'm romanticizing drinking, and you just try and push that thought out of your head without doing the work. Like, I think that is inherently more dangerous than just saying, okay, well, what is it? What story am I thinking of maybe? Or like, what story can I, Employ to maybe contradict that like, oh, this 1 time that I had so much fun on spring break versus the other time. I almost died and had to go to the hospital because I fell through a glass table. True story. these are the things that, I think are helpful. So, like, if you do start romanticizing drinking, maybe, Lean into that. Think about what it is you really liked about that moment. Was it the drinking? Was it the company? Was it a combo of things? And then, like, think about another time that counters that good time. I'm big on lists. Pros and cons, baby. I No, if I do a pros and cons list to drinking, I would have way more cons than I would have pros. That's actually a really good exercise. I'm going to do for another episode because Sam over at the third place bar, I'll plug this episode in the show notes as well when she came on the show earlier this year, talked about writing a list of All of the things that alcohol did to wrong her. I'm not articulating it in the same way that she did, but basically, she wrote down all of the times that alcohol was a hindrance to her and when she read it back to herself, she's like, holy smokes. Seeing all of those things in black and white on paper was just like irrefutable proof that she could not continue drinking. Like, there was no purpose. So, yeah, I feel like that's a great exercise. So I will do something like that for another day and share with you, of course, I'm an open book.

the-sober-butterfly_14_10-03-2024_111456: 36:13

I have just given you five of my top controversial opinions when it comes to sobriety I'm going to run through them again to remind you. So number one sobriety does not need to be permanent It does not need to be forever. My second controversial opinion was that sobriety is over glorified on social. My third sober' for people can be hyper critical, sometimes more hyper critical about other addictions. Number four sobriety does not automatically make you a better person. And then finally, my fifth opinion was it's okay to grieve your old life. Before we close out, I'm going to just share some honorable mentions. And if you guys like this episode this week, let me know, maybe I'll do a part two with Some of these honorable mentions because I have a lot of controversial opinions, you guys. so. Honorable mentions include day counts don't matter. You heard me. I think it's great for keeping track of milestones and celebrating and all the things, but I actually don't think they matter that much. next up we have sober events can be just as exclusionary as drinking events. Yeah, I have been to amazing sober events and then I've been to some other ones. I'm like, oh, my God, why am I here? And people are not very friendly. I also think that sober women are often held to higher standards than men. Um, surprise, surprise. Some people are too quick to claim sobriety cured them. Yeah, I, um, I don't think sobriety alone is responsible for all the improvements people can claim on their lives. I think it's a combo of different efforts, but. Who am I? That's just my opinion. And then lastly, rock bottom is not a prerequisite for getting sober. Like I said, I'm happy to do a part two and go more in depth with some of these honorable mentions.

the-sober-butterfly_16_10-03-2024_111839: 38:10

Wow. What a ride today's episode has been. I know we touched on some controversial and maybe even uncomfortable topics about sobriety, but that's what the Sober Butterfly is all about. Creating a space where we can have real honest conversations. Sobriety is not a one size fits all, and it's important to challenge some of the assumptions and narratives out there so we can better understand our own journey. Whether you agree with some of these opinions or not. Once again, it's my opinion and I'm allowed to have it. I hope this episode has made you think about sobriety in new ways. Maybe it sparked some curiosity or opened up a dialogue that you hadn't considered before. The most important takeaway, sobriety is personal. There's no right or wrong way to approach it as long as it's working for you and you're moving forward with self-love and growth. Thank you for joining me today. If you have any thoughts, questions, or even some controversial opinions of your own, I'd love to hear them. You can reach me on Instagram or email me directly. I will plug all of that in the show notes below. Let's keep the conversation going. Until next time, stay strong, stay curious, and stay beautiful, butterflies.