Sober in San Juan: Friendship, Travel & Saying Yes to Joy *BONUS EPISODE*

In this bonus solo episode, host Nadine Mulvina takes you on a sun-soaked, power-outage-filled journey to San Juan, Puerto Rico—traveling with her college best friend who still drinks. Through vibrant stories and heartfelt reflection, Nadine explores how choosing sobriety doesn’t mean missing out—it can actually inspire those around you.

From salsa dancing in La Placita, to hiking El Yunque rainforest hangover-free, to screaming with joy when the power came back on, Nadine shares how her sober presence shifted the energy of the trip. This episode is a love letter to travel, friendship, and the magic that comes when you choose presence over partying.

🎒 Highlights from the Episode:

• Positive peer pressure & how sobriety can shift group dynamics
• Rebuilding old friendships through new boundaries and honesty
• Celebrating others while staying true to yourself
• The joy of dancing, adventuring, and sunbathing—no alcohol required
• Navigating the “drinking friend” dynamic without judgment
• Lessons from travel that apply to everyday sober life

🌴 San Juan Itinerary Highlights:

• Solo salsa night at La Placita
• Power outages, piña coladas (yes—N/A!), and birthday surprises
• Sailboat + catamaran tours
• Natural waterslides & cliff-jumping in El Yunque
• Rooftop dinners and spontaneous connections

💡 Sober Travel Tips:

• Pack a portable charger (!!!)
• Make space to celebrate your friends—even if you’re skipping the booze
• Have a “morning plan” to stay grounded on vacation
• Always ask bartenders if they can make a custom mocktail—you might just get the best drink of your life

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Transcript

the-sober-butterfly_2_04-21-2025_185032: 0:00

Hello, hello, hello. Beautiful butterflies and welcome back to the Sober Butterfly Podcast. I am your host, Nadine, and today we're diving into a juicy bonus solo episode that's equal parts vacation recap, sober inspo, and a love letter to longtime friendships that grow with you. Okay, so if you've been following me on social media, you may already know that I was in Puerto Rico for spring break. Now, this wasn't just any spring break vacation. This was a spring break trip with one of my best college friends who still drinks and listen, her and I, we have. History. Okay. The kind where alcohol used to be, the glue and not just the glue. We're talking drama and at times our downfall, if I'm being quite real. But this trip in particular, it was completely different. It was healing and it reminded me that sober joy is not just possible. It is better than anything I used to drink to chase. So today I'm bringing you a full behind the scenes recap, plus some practical tips, honest lessons, and a few funny moments from my sober adventure in San Juan. Let's get into it.

the-sober-butterfly_3_04-21-2025_185512: 1:16

All right, let's start with day one. So I intentionally arrived a day before my friend to get grounded. And this friend, by the way, her name is Kay. And Kay and I, we've traveled around the globe together. A lot of it, as mentioned in the intro, involved alcohol drinking. And it's so funny that this trip. Was around spring break time because one of the most epic spring breaks of my life involved Kay, when we went on a cruise, our senior year of college, so this would've been circa 2014, 13, 2013, and we. I'm not even gonna get into it here because A, she would kill me, and B, we don't have enough time. So just know that when we went on that spring break cruise at the end of college, it was insane. And that was actually the first time that we'd ever taken like an international trip together. This particular trip. Was actually our first time going away together sober. So I intentionally arrived the day before K, just to get my bearings really to get grounded. And I checked into our Airbnb. I dropped off my bags. I took myself on a little solo date night, didn't have much plans for that first evening, but ended up booking a last minute salsa class followed by dinner in La Placita. Now La Placita is Party Central. I want you to think loud. Music dancing in the streets, pina Coladas. Everywhere and I was totally sober for it and totally fine. Like more than fine. I was great. I was thriving. I people watched, which is one of my favorite activities. And just watching people, you know, move Puerto Rico, San Juan in particular, it is the most musically, vibrant place I have ever been you can hear music everywhere, like from cars, booming, bad bunny, or literally just hearing different music coming from cafes or restaurants. And so I was watching people move with rhythm and laughter, and I just thought to myself. I get to feel this too, and not only do I get to feel this, I get to feel this without the hangover. So the first lesson I just want to remind myself and also share with you is that sober travel starts by choosing yourself first. And a quick tip for you, if you are traveling with other people, especially people who drink, consider giving yourself a day or two to settle in and get centered.

the-sober-butterfly_4_04-21-2025_185849: 3:54

So the next day I was expecting Kay to arrive. She was arriving later in the afternoon. I was super excited that Kay was arriving that day, and for more context, this was spring break, but also a celebratory trip for Kay's birthday coming up. So I wanted to surprise her with birthday decorations. So I had pre-ordered, or pre-packed, I should say, from Amazon, just like a little like birthday banner, some balloons. Just other little decor things that I could bring with me because. I don't know San Juan, like that. I wasn't gonna just rely on shopping while I got there. I spent the morning partly setting up her birthday surprise, you know, decorating her room. And I just wanted her to feel celebrated without it needing to be like a party fueled by booze. So did not buy any wine or anything like that. After I set up shop, I decided to explore old San Juan because as mentioned, her flight was coming in a bit later and I had some time to kill. And I went to this beautiful little coffee shop in Old San Juan. And just to set the scene, like old San Juan is very rustic, right? it's called Old San Juan for a reason. Think cobble paved streets and Dilapidated buildings, but like in a beautiful way, like very old world. And I was sitting in the little coffee shop minding my own business, scrolling on Instagram basically. And the power just cuts out. And I'm thinking to myself, oh, that's weird. I mean, it's midday, like noon at this point in time, and I'm just like, oh, the power went out. But not really thinking too much of it because I'm in old San Juan. I'm like, maybe they just had a little like. Clips in their power circuit. I, I don't know what I was thinking, but the point I'm making is I was like on my phone killing time, AKA killing my battery. And I didn't realize until I went back to my Airbnb to meet Kay that there was no power. Imagine I opened the door to our Airbnb I didn't even notice that the lights were off because it was daytime. I go to charge my phone and ironically, Kailynn had texted me before she bordered her flight to say, Hey, I left my charger for my iPhone. She has. The newer iPhone. So we had different outlets or we had different chargers, I should say. So anyway, she's like, I left my phone charger. Can you actually buy me one? So I bought her one in Old San Juan. So I say a lot to say. I get in, I'm like, oh, let me juice up my phone. I. It's not charging. It's not charging. Then I go to turn the light on, the light's not turning on. So there was a major power outage that affected most of the city that day. Very chaotic energy. And surprisingly, mercury is not in retrograde at this time, but I just bumped with the flow. Apparently San Juan experiences power outages. Often, more often than one would expect. I, I don't know. And I learned from talking to different people that live there. Uber drivers, people that worked in restaurants, service people, like they were just kind of like, listen, this is a normal occurrence. Our Airbnb host was really apologetic and accommodating, and he was kind of like, they didn't even cite a reason as to why the power went out. As mentioned, this is a normal thing, I guess, and he was like, I can offer you guys a partial refund. If you wanna stay somewhere else, I'll refund you for the night, but we don't know if the power will be out for two hours or 48 hours. It was very like. You know, up in the air. So we didn't have a generator. So when Kay arrived, she actually said that the airport was super hot and everyone was faning themselves. And her phone was like on 30%, my phone was on 30%. I did buy her that charger, but we had no use for it at the time, and we just kind of went with the flow. We just went with the flow. And the flow. Entailed going on a sailboat tour that we pre-booked and we went on the tour with our chargers. We were like, is there an outlet on this boat, on this sailboat? And thankfully there was an outlet. And then on this tour, because it was like a group tour that we booked on Airbnb experience, There were other people traveling, and so we actually met a guy named Ralph from Connecticut. Hey Ralph, if you're listening to this, he was traveling solo and we all just vibed. And so it just reminds me lesson number two that you can bring the joy I. Without bringing the alcohol. And my tip for you is be the kind of travel buddy who uplifts people.

the-sober-butterfly_6_04-21-2025_190819: 8:34

After the sailboat we went to dinner, kept charging our phones. we started plotting around what we would do if the power wasn't back. We're like, should we book a hotel? And I proposed. I was like, listen. It's already dark at this point. and I've unpacked all of my stuff and we don't even know where we're gonna stay. Imagine going back to the pitch black Airbnb, trying to repack our stuff and then find a new Airbnb. Plus, we had booked a. Rainforest tour to in the morning. So we had a super early pickup time at like 7:00 AM I'm like, Kayleigh, it's not worth it. Let's just ride it out, thug it out. It's an experience for the evening and if when we come back from our rainforest tour, if the power's not back, then we can definitely look to move. So she was cool with that plan. We kept the show going. Like I said, the show must go on. We decided to meet up with Roth again. And we went to Old San Juan. Now that I have some perspective. I'm actually really glad that the power was out on Old San Juan because certain establishments had generators and so those bars, restaurants, clubs, were open and it was such a unique experience to be out in the streets and you can't see anything like, it was so cool the only light you would see were from headlights from cars who were driving through these like super narrow cobble streets and there would be like one or two bars open, so you'd see the light emitted from those establishments, hear the music, and it was just a cool experience to be walking basically around in the dark and then pop into these different bars. So we bar hopped and it was such a fun experience. I got to put my skills for my salsa lesson class that I took the day before to good use and good practice. I was salsa dancing. It was so much fun. kay and Ralph ordered Pina coladas. I had a non-alcoholic. Apparently Pina Coladas originate in Puerto Rico. Some people say, some people disagree. I I didn't fact check that. So if, you know, let me know. Another amazing insight is when you don't drink, everything is so much cheaper. Like, everyone was buying rounds and they were like, oh my God, this is so cheap. But my drink was always the cheapest. It was like$3. Anyway, a highlight for me was not only seeing old San Juan in the pitch dark, but also dancing all night. Here's the thing. Dancing sober is a superpower, okay? You don't need alcohol to let go. You need permission from only yourself. So my third lesson is you are the vibe, and don't be shy about ordering a mocktail. Most bartenders are happy to get creative if you just straight up ask'em.

the-sober-butterfly_14_04-21-2025_203019: 11:21

As we were leaving old Sam Juan to go back to our Airbnb, we were. Plotting still. We were like, okay, how are we gonna do this? We didn't even have a flashlight. We're like, maybe I can hold my flashlight on my iPhone so that you can take a shower. We were literally brainstorming, even the Uber driver was explaining to us how the infrastructure was so terrible in terms of how their electricity works in San Juan, and a lot of it is due to misappropriation and corruption from their government. Long story short, we pull up to our Airbnb and Uber driver's like, well, your streetlight's on. Kay and I just look at each other. He's like, I think your power might be back. And when I tell you like we, we were so excited, but we were scared. We were like, okay, what if it's not on? And then we looked at the neighboring homes and they had lights, and we just screamed at the top of our lungs and jumped around like little kids. We were so happy. No alcohol. Once again, just pure Unfiltered, silly joy. So just again, you can bring the joy without alcohol.

the-sober-butterfly_7_04-21-2025_191248: 12:26

As mentioned, we have the early pickup 7:00 AM It was really 6 45, from our Airbnb to, had to, and this was the highlight of the trip for both myself and Kay. We booked the early morning tour, which I highly recommend. I can even plug in the show notes, the particular tour that we went on. There are tons of EL tours, but I really loved or experience, and the thing about booking an early morning tour is you have the entire remainder of the day to spend. How you want to, so while I think Kailin was like, oh my God, it's such an early pickup, I think she was really grateful because we weren't hungover first of all. So we were up, I was even able to like squeeze in a workout before, we went and got coffee and it was just a great juxtaposition to, like other trips that I've taken where it's like, oh my God, you're moving so slowly because you're so hung over. I felt fresh, I was ready to go. So the experience to El Yunque National Rainforest was incredible. we hiked, we jumped off waterfalls, we swung from rope swings. It was exhilarating and I kept thinking, this is what sobriety gives me. Mornings like this. So my lesson four for you, sobriety gives you mornings memories. And magic, so don't forget to plan a nature activity that requires you to be present. It will remind you why you chose this path.

Nadine Mulvina: 14:01

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the-sober-butterfly_8_04-21-2025_191452: 15:40

After El Yunque. We were tired, but we wanted to check out this beach club, and I'm not even going to plug this for you because to be real with you, I felt that it was overrated. It was like this bougie beach club and it was expensive for no reason. I don't know what we paid for. So not even gonna give you the recommendation here, but what stood out was how Kay supported me. For context, if you wanted to lounge at the Beach Club, you had to pay$95 and that got you two chairs, one umbrella and drinks, which sounds like a good deal Oh, and it gave you chips and salsa. I'll get to that later. Okay. Um, so I. Love that Kaylyn not only didn't pressure me to drink, she let me order the bucket of sparkling water, coconut water, and sodas, which really, you know, helped both of us stay hydrated and comfortable, especially in the sweltering heat. But I just. In that moment had so much gratitude for our friendship because you know, that's expensive to spend essentially a hundred dollars on water and soda and coconut water but I knew that she was looking out for me and prior to the trip she had indicated that she didn't really wanna drink like that. She wanted this to be more of a relaxing experience. And so it was really amazing, just a full circle moment for us to Say, okay, we're gonna choose the healthier option and we're not going to choose the bottomless mimosas or whatever sugar fueled alcoholic drinks they were offering. Now the chips and salsa were trash. When I tell you they gave us an itty bitty, like, I want you to think about how ketchup comes in. Like those little circular condiment cups, like that was the salsa and the chips were stale. So once again, not gonna recommend that. but lesson number five for us is that real friends respect your boundaries even if they drink. And that was a really beautiful moment for me to feel seen and. Supported and respected.

the-sober-butterfly_9_04-21-2025_191836: 17:46

We didn't end up going out that second night because we were pooped from the rainforest and from the beach club. So we just had a quiet evening indoors. And our final day, which was a Friday, we spent, on Catamaran. It was a six hour boat tour to a private island. And the funny thing is, like in the forecast before we left, we kept checking it of course, and they projected rain, but it really didn't rain while we were there. Until we got on the boat, gray skies, bit windy, but we're like, okay, the weather's held up so far, we'll be fine. Let me back up. The catamaran was nice. It was like this luxury catamaran. It was a decent sized boat, don't get me wrong, but when we were lined up to get on the boat, cain and I looked at each other and we're like, this is a lot of people, like, how are we all going to comfortably fit on this boat? So can't help it being in Aries rush to the front of the line. So we could be the first people on the boat so we could claim prime real estate. And we ended up sitting at the very front because we wanted to, hang out on the net and catch all the vibes, no one obstructing our view. Wanted to get a tan, but that was not what happened. There was even this little boy that came up, oh my God, he was so annoying. Truly, I think. Kids should not be allowed to go on catamarans, kids under the age of like 12. This kid was so annoying. He like rushed over and was like, I'm here. And I, he said something and I was like, actually there's four people here. Like, you can't be here'cause like you can't sit with us. They said four was the max and he like stomped away. Anyway, I, I'm getting off task, so. We claimed our prime real estate and it poured the entire like 45 minutes to the private island. The rain literally whip lashing us, like sloshing from every direction. it was not the scene like we were like, what is this? And it almost killed the vibe. We traveled over an hour to get here and it's pouring rain and it's our final day. So it really put a damper. On the first half of the morning, but the sun thankfully came out just in time and the boat trip turned out to be beautiful. When we got to the private island, it was actually super hot. They had good music, good food. People were dancing, snorkeling. We just soaked in all the joy for me. No alcohol required. Kay. Started drinking a bit because unlimited drinks she had a good time. I had a good time. We were vibing. It was just like. Synchronicity is the point I'm trying to make. Like we were in sync and I didn't feel outta place for my choice to not drink and to be honest with you guys, when the sun is beaming down on you when you're in the water, I don't know why people think it's a good idea to drink. Like I'm talking about myself, my former self. I actually think it's crazy that I used to drink so much in those conditions because it is just too damn hot. Anyway, we had a great time and so my final lesson for you guys is you don't have to match someone else's energy to enjoy the moment like she was on her tip. I was on my tip. And let your energy be contagious

the-sober-butterfly_10_04-21-2025_192416: 21:03

After the catamaran, we were so tired, but we rallied because it was our last night in Puerto Rico and we had both really early flights departing at like 6:00 AM Saturday morning. So we were like, okay, we're gonna make the best of this and go out. Kay booked an amazing dinner reservation, which I can't think of a name right now, but I will link it in the show notes because if you go to San Juan, this restaurant was Chef's Kiss, one of the best meals I experienced in San Juan. Delicious. And they only take reservations and they eat book out. Pretty foreign event. I think she booked this restaurant like two weeks ahead so if you do wanna go, I think it's called like Ella's. I, I'll look it. Um, so we had an amazing dinner and then I wanted to show her around Lapita because I went there my first night. And it just felt like true college spring break vibes. Like people were drunk, they were out there in the streets. And maybe if I were like. I don't know, 21 would've been a good time, but we were both kinda like, this is not the vibe. It was very much giving South Beach Miami vibes, so we wanted to check out Old San Juan again. I really, really wanted to go to La Factoria, which is I think ranked. In the top 20 in terms of bars around the world. So I was like, we can't leave without going to La Factoria. And the allure is each, it's multilayered multi floors. And each room or floor has its own music. So like they have Reggaton, they have salsa, they have, EDM, hip hop. So we were like, okay, let's go. After La Placita, we went to La Factoria and we didn't stay very long. It was so packed. Oh my God. It was so busy and we were so tired and we had to finish packing for our early morning flight. But I got to see it. I had one of the best. Mocktails ever at La Factoria, not even on the list. I appreciate the bartenders in Puerto Rico. Okay. Nobody blinked twice. When I told them I didn't drink, they didn't have a ton of non-alcoholic options on the menu. But like every bartender was super eager to showcase their mixology skills. Like, yeah, like show me what you can do. I had. Amazing drinks that like, I don't even know what to call them. I honestly don't even know what's in them. And they just whipped them up and I was super happy. So like that particular drink at lafa cost like$5. I couldn't believe it. And it was the best drink I had all trip

the-sober-butterfly_11_04-21-2025_192723: 23:34

We got home pretty late and as mentioned, we had like a 6:00 AM flight and I packed everything. I was about to get like three hours of sleep, and then I get a notification on my phone from my flight announcing that it was canceled. Thank you, frontier Airlines. I will never fly with you again. I'm not kidding when I say my flight was supposed to leave at like six 15 in the morning, and I got a notification at like one 30 in the morning being like, your flight was canceled. No explanation. Zilch, no explanation. And so I was just like, oh my God, what am I gonna do? And I did slightly go into panic mode because you guys as much fun as I had in Puerto Rico, I was ready to go home. I was ready to go home. You know that feeling where you're like, I feel full. I feel like I've done everything I was supposed to do here. I'm ready to get home to my bed. So instead of going into full panic mode. This is something that old me probably would've, you know, drank, taken a shot to cope with it, to figure it out. No old me actually would've been drunk either still out in those streets, those San Juan streets, or passed out because I was too drunk. So I actually caught the notification and I just stayed up. I was like, okay. Don't panic, you're gonna book a flight. You're going home, baby. You are going home today.'cause it was after one o'clock, it was the same day. I go to Google Flights, I typed in, I was like, I need to leave today. Take me home. And I found a flight with JetBlue leaving at 4:45 AM You guys, oh my gosh. So imagine it's like one something in the morning. I'm like. Why am I even going to sleep? I need to go to the airport. So I ended up booking that new flight on JetBlue and when I got to the airport, I had one final moment of like, aha. As I was boarding my flight to get on, there was a girl who was with. I'm assuming her partner and she was like maybe like three or four people ahead of me and all of a sudden she just starts projectile vomiting and this went on for minutes. I'm not exaggerating, her companion just stood there and the flight attendants or like the people that work there were kinda like, ma'am, we cannot let you get on this flight like this. And I'm the type of person, like, if I smell vomit, I will vomit. So I was trying to be calm, but I was like, okay, I understand she's throwing up right before the terminal or like right before the runway, whatever you call that, when you. Get onto the plane, but I was like, I need to, I need to get on this plane. Like I cannot watch this girl throw up. And you knew it was just alcohol because it, it was straight up liquid just coming out. Coming out. I felt so bad for her. Truly no judgment, I have been there, not actually there. Like I've never done that surprisingly, but like clearly she probably just went out for the night and didn't go, sleep it off. Like she just went straight to the airport thinking she could. Muster up all her strength and make it, but no baby. I, I wonder if they made it home. I'm sure they did, but yeah, that happened. In a final moment where I'm like, yeah. Um. So glad I chose the sober life, and I'll leave you with my final lesson that I learned, which is sobriety obviously cannot protect you from chaos, but it helps you navigate things clearly. And I just wanna remind everyone to travel flexibly and always double check your flights. Okay? Triple check them and also never fly Frontier. When I told the JetBlue lady at the front desk, they upgraded me. Thank you, JetBlue. They were like, yeah, frontier. They always cancel flights. And I was like, why? And then she was about to tell me, but then she didn't she made a point of saying Fent always cancels their flight, especially first thing in the morning. I'm still trying to get a refund. I can't even get ahold of friends here. I called them before I started recording this. They said, your wait is 247 minutes. So yeah, about that. I'm not gonna sit on the phone for 247 minutes. So I, I'm gonna deal with that later. But when she said that, I was like, oh, why? And she literally bit her tongue. She was like, about to tell me, and then she was like, I, I don't wanna say, I don't know, I'm not sure, but I felt like she was trying to tell me like, oh. I dunno if people get lit. I dunno what the deal is, but yeah. Fight, canceled, refund pending

the-sober-butterfly_12_04-21-2025_193304: 28:10

Okay. As we wind down with this week's bonus episode, I just wanna share my biggest takeaway from this trip, and that's just how much my friendship with Kay has evolved on past trips, Kay and I had like mini fights, like typical, you know, passive aggressive energy or hangover tension. But this trip I felt like we laughed. Danced. We gave each other space and showed genuine care. And being the only cerebral person for me personally, used to feel a bit like a burden. And now it feels like a true blessing because I get to remember everything. I get to lead with love and maybe just maybe I'm showing others a new wave being. So my final lesson I'm gonna leave with you guys is just around sober leadership because it can be soft, it can be quiet, and yet it can be so powerful. You don't have to convince people to drink less. You just have to be the example

the-sober-butterfly_13_04-21-2025_193440: 29:13

Thank you butterflies, for coming along on this story time with me. This was such a random, impulsive episode, but I just wanted to share and I have so many amazing interviews. Lined up for you guys. I feel like I don't get to do as many solo episodes, which I love interviewing people, but sometimes I just wanna give like life updates, and this was a prime example of me just wanting to share an amazing vacation that I took with one of my best friends. Before I leave you some quick bonus tips for any sober travelers, number one, bring a portable charger number two, look up mocktail spots or non-alcoholic drinks before you go. My third tip for you is to book early morning excursions because you'll actually show up and enjoy them and have the remaining part of your day to spend how you want. My fourth tip is to travel with any grounding tools that you need. A book or a journal because solo time is sacred. Number five, don't apologize ever for being sober. Your presence is a gift. Number six. Dance. Dance. Like no one's watching dance anyway. Laugh anyway. Celebrate anyway. And finally number seven is you belong everywhere. Your joy does. I hope this bonus episode gave you guys some encouragement. You can still have fun. You can still hold boundaries and you can still come back with memories not regrets. If you enjoyed this episode, please take a quick second to leave a review, share with a friend or tag me on Instagram at the period. So Butterfly, and let me know what your favorite part is. I need to know, let me know. DM me. It may take me a minute to get back to you. I'm so sorry. I'm not the best with the dms, but I'm working on it. I'm working on it. Friday we're back to the regularly scheduled program. I have Danielle from that Sober Glow coming on the podcast. This is an episode you do not want to miss. Danielle has an incredibly powerful story. She's so personable, and I just can't wait to share. That episode with you guys, so I will see you on Friday. Until then, stay soft, stay strong, and of course, stay sober. I love you guys. Bye.