The Sober Butterfly Podcast

Creative Sobriety with Kristen Bear

• Nadine Mulvina

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In this episode of The Sober Butterfly Podcast, Nadine sits down with Kristen Bear, founder of Creative Sobriety, for a powerful conversation about recovery, self-expression, and the creative rebirth that often follows getting sober.

Kristen opens up about her journey from the chaotic party scenes of LA and NYC to a spiritual awakening in February 2020 that marked the start of her alcohol-free life. She shares how the lockdown became a sacred period for healing—rediscovering hobbies, reconnecting with nature, and expressing herself through writing and creativity.

Together, Nadine and Kristen explore what it means to pursue a creative life in sobriety, moving beyond traditional recovery narratives, and empowering women to live authentically. Kristen also talks about her upcoming memoir, building her shipping-container tiny home, and the mission behind Creative Sobriety. A fun rapid-fire Q&A closes the episode with inspiration for anyone embracing a sober-curious or alcohol-free lifestyle.

Follow Kristen:
📸 Instagram: @creativesobriety
📝 Substack: https://kristenbear.substack.com/

Resources Mentioned 

Book:  Women Who Run With Wolves 

Medium Article: Heroes of The Addiction Crisis: How Kristen Bear of Creative Sobriety Is Helping To Battle One of Our Most Serious Epidemics 

Sponsor

📚 Audible – Get lost in a new book (or re-listen to your fave self-improvement reads). Try Audible FREE for 30 days and get a free audiobook with your trial.

https://www.audible.com/ep/creator?source_code=PDTGBPD060314004R&irclickid=XazzdNSVsxyKWoq11KRoTXGDUksyjuXPtRPo2w0&irgwc=1

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services refereed to in this episode.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-20-2025_201537:

Hello, beautiful butterflies. Welcome back to the Sober Butterfly Podcast. I am your host, Nadine, and today feels like a really special full circle moment because this conversation is kind of like a part two. Last week I had the honor of being on the Creative Sobriety Podcast with the incredible Kristin Bear, if you don't already know Kristen, she's a big deal. Although she will try to deny that Q Quip.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

so Kristen,, you're a big deal in the sober community. You and I connected on,

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

that.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

I'm to, I'm announcing it officially. You are a big deal in the sober community. You're a big deal in life,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-20-2025_201537:

kristen in my opinion, has this really rare gift where she makes sobriety feel expansive, intentional, empowering, and deeply creative. Hence the name Creative Sobriety. We also talk about how creative sobriety started as a secret finsta that Kristen used to stalk other sober recovery pages and I could relate to that as I started this platform as a way to hold myself accountable and also like find. Representation of cool, sober people because yeah, I didn't know any cool sober people in real life and neither did Kristen. So you look for things like that. And Instagram was the tool that we both used. One of my favorite moments from this episode is where she shares the powerful spiritual moment she had back in February of 2020. That completely shifted everything and how she used, the quiet of lockdown of COVID too. Give her space to rebuild her life and create something beautiful from the inside out. So if you're looking for inspiration or you're curious about unlocking your creativity in sobriety, or if you just need like a reminder that your story matters and that your gifts deserves space, this conversation is for you. Alright, let's get into it. Here is my conversation with Kristen Bear from Creative Sobriety.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

so for folks who may not know you can you share a little bit about. You know who you are and take us back to the beginning. Tell us about your life before getting sober.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

Yeah, absolutely. Thank you. I grew up in East Tennessee in like a pretty small town and from a really young age I knew that I wanted to be. A creative person. I knew I wanted to go and live in big cities and see the world and do cool things that I saw only on tv. You know, like I just had huge lust for life that wasn't necessarily shared with a lot of the people I grew up with. And so I just was itching to get out into the world, like from a pretty young age. And so I did I ended up moving to LA when I was 18 years old. And, that was like a crazy experience. I had no idea what I was doing. I moved there with one of my really good friends and, we just kind of ended up getting into all sorts of trouble. But I guess that's probably when I started drinking because I didn't really drink in high school. I was very much like. A good girl. I was a preacher's granddaughter and I was on the student council and I was, on the dance team and got good grades and all this stuff, I lived my life. Just with the intention of not getting in trouble and not disappointing people And so by the time I was an adult and I was out on my own, I hate to kind of bring up that like, cliche of rebelling against all of that stuff, but I do think in a way I was determined to prove that the world isn't bad and you can go and have experiences and no one's gonna get hurt. And the truth is that. Some of that is definitely true, but then there, there is some, kind of dangerous stuff out there. And being 18 in LA I definitely put, was putting myself in kind of like precarious situations. But a real turning point for me was actually getting into a relationship with someone when I was 18 in LA became very abusive to me. I had this, three years of pretty traumatic experience, 18 to 21. then when I got out of that, I went directly into the party scene, like, my twenties, especially my early twenties. It was just, every single night out with friends. I started bartending and working in restaurants and I just loved it. I loved like, how free it felt to just you know, wake up at noon and go to work and make some cash and then go out and blow it all. So I definitely did that and I don't think I realized. At the time, I certainly didn't realize at the time I was using alcohol as a, sort of a crutch for a lot of different things. I had a tremendous amount of shame from the experience I had, when I was younger that I didn't tell anyone about. So I was carrying all that stuff with me, and I didn't want anyone to know, because at that age you internalize that as it's something bad about you, it's. Something to be ashamed of something almost dirty. so I think I drank, to excess because I could kind of quiet that, little voice in my head that was constantly saying like, oh, these terrible things happened and people are gonna know and not gonna like you anymore. And so that was a very real thing. But at the same time I was like keeping up with. friends, I mean I, yeah, I was blacking out and doing really stupid shit, but so was everybody else. And so it was kind of easy to be like, oh, that's just Kristen being crazy and we had a crazy night. You know how it goes. And so I definitely. Kind of skated through my early twenties like that. And then when I was about 25, I started working as a model. I got scouted by someone. And I ended up moving to Chicago for six months and then to New York. And I was in New York for three years. And, I was able to really like, control my drinking because when that opportunity came my way. I realized that it was a huge opportunity. It was something that I had always wanted. I always wanted to live in New York. I'd always wanted to be in, the entertainment industry and all those things. And so I really took it seriously. I trained, you know, like an Olympic athlete to get to that spot, and when I was there I took it very seriously. But at the same time, like when things would go wrong in my life or I would, run into disappointments or relationship issues. Alcohol was just always the thing like, and you know how it is in New York too, it became very easy living on my own there to like slide into a bar at PM Right. And just kind of unnoticed and next thing I'm out to dinner like seven drinks in and stumbling home

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Yep.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

God knows what else.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Perfect ecosystem for that chaos to thrive.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

you can really be invisible if you want. You can go incognito. You can almost feel like you're playing a character in a movie. I certainly did that a lot. I'm very in my head a lot, and so I would just, romanticize those things too, because. I also very much bought into the story that's sold specifically to women of like, alcohol is glamorous. A glass of champagne in your hand means success. And this is what we equate to celebration and sophistication.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

of life, right?

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

Yeah. Yeah. So I was just trying to play the part, I thought that was just kind of the way you did it. I didn't have a lot of people, I would say I didn't have anybody really in my life, women showing me like, you don't have to do it like this. Yeah. So. I left New York. I ended up going back to LA for a couple of years studying acting and things were going okay there for a while. But I was working at a restaurant again for the first time in a while while I was taking classes, started going out with those people and, getting into the whole like, natural wine scene that I just completely, I justified my drinking of like, well, drinking this natural wine from France that no one knows about. Like, I can't. I can't have a problem. Yeah. And yeah, 2019, my year, my, my life started sort of crashing out. My mental health plummeted. I was very disappointed in my. Career, like nothing was happening. I wasn't looking my, like myself or feeling like myself. I was getting massive anxiety, insomnia, like you name it. My brain was starting to kind of turn against me and I had a horrible breakup at the end of that year and ended up coming back to Tennessee and yeah, right before. COVID I had gone to Italy. This is like the last, this is the last stretch here. Okay. So I moved back from LA to Tennessee and then on a, last ditch effort to run away from my life completely and avoid my problems and avoid facing myself. I decide I'm gonna move to. Milan and I had some friends there. I go over there and it's just so depressing. I am, I'm drinking, I'm walking the streets, smoking cigarettes, like what in the actual doing with my life? And there were starting to be these rumblings of COVID. So. My dad was like, you, I think you should come back. I'm like, yeah, I think I should come back. So come back to the States after a few depressing weeks later. I woke up on February 26th, 2020, and I just had I can only describe as like a spiritual. Epiphany, a spiritual download was this kind of booming voice in my head that just said, you're done. You're done. Honestly, I took those words, you are done to basically be kind of an ultimatum. It was like you can either continue on as you've been living your life, drinking, smoking, partying, just fucking off in general or. Or you can have a chance to become everything you were created to become. And I was just like. Okay. I choose that. I choose that. I choose that. I have to choose that. And so yeah, so that started my sober journey. drank again. And I went on an a quest to just figure out how to talk about this in a way that would help women because. That's what I needed. I went on a quest to find a way to speak to women in a voice that would've maybe helped me sooner realize what was happening in my life.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Wow. Thank you for sharing all of that. So beautiful. Very relatable, you mentioned this idea of like a spiritual awakening, which I think I had a similar situation where. Maybe I had more than one awakening, but there's a saying, it's like first God, or you can fill it in with whatever higher power or whatever belief. But first God whispers and then he yells. So my question for you, Kristen, is were there any whispers along the way, or was it just in that moment when you returned home at the start of COVID in 2020 to where you were like, okay, something has got to give. Or beforehand were you questioning your relationship with alcohol and wondering, there may be something here,

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

Absolutely. I mean, looking back I think I was struggling with that first internally for a really long time. It would be waking up after a night blacked out, right? And to see you sent a text message that you're like, really? Really embarrassed

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

right?

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

or really regret or, waking up. I mean, look, especially in my early twenties, waking up at dude's houses, I didn't remember meeting,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

preach

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

I like, come on, let's be real.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

That was a big part of me getting sober, truly because I was scared that I was outta control and like, I don't know these men, like sometimes that was deal. So yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

Yeah, I think it's like so many times I was so careless with my body, and I think yeah and that just creates more shame,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Correct.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

it's like every time I would do something like that or I would act out of character or start a fight or cause issues in my relationship, it was just piling on this shame. And so shame is. Steering, you can't see grace, and so you're just like, what? I have to just push this down. I have to just like, cover it up with more something

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

I can't live with it. Like, so, yeah, there were so many whispers, there were so many whispers. And then it did start causing problems like in some of my relationships, you know, I would drink too much at family. Occasions, and make things uncomfortable. Fight with my mom, who is now gone and like, I wish I, there were so many times at Thanksgiving, like I just acted like a complete fucking moron, or, in relationships with my, previous partners, like times where I would really hurt them because I would be in one of those modes of like. where the anger comes to the forefront and I snap just be, I'm blackout, I'm blacked out drunk, and then all this shame and all of this past shit is coming up and it, I take it out on whoever's closest to me. Right?

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

There were plenty of times where I would think to myself, this is an issue. This is an issue. But I don't know. I really don't know that I actually knew sobriety was an option. Like I just didn't know anybody talking about it as like something you could choose. Right.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Yeah. Did you know any cool super people in your personal life at the time? Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

not. I did not, and I only did when I met I moved to la there was a girl who I worked at the wine bar with, and she was also an actor and she was sober she was in aa. And I was questioning my drinking a lot towards the end of being in la I was going back to the psychiatrist, like all of these things, wanting it to be any other answer, right? Like, oh, clearly I diagnosed me with something. Like I just have, bipolar. Right? Like we can just put medication on this.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Right.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Precious alcohol.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

And trust me, like I needed to be medicated. And I have been at different times in my life, but it was that, it was the booze,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

yeah. Self medicating. Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

to night. That was giving me anxiety, like, come on. But I remember talking to her after I had a really bad weekend with booze and she invited me to go to a meeting and I did. I went to one AA meeting with her

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Wow.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

and I walked outta that meeting and I was like, oh. I'm fine. Like I think the guy that's, I think the guy that spoke that day, and look, I, please let me preface this, everybody listening, I have so much respect for AA and people who go and it works for you. I think it's beautiful, but I don't think it's for everybody.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

it's not.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

and I. and I disagree with so much of the dogma attached to it. But this guy stood up and he was like, his story for the day was something like, I had one beer and the next thing you know I'm given a blowjob in the Walmart parking lot for meth. And I'm like.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Not relatable,

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

I didn't, I never did that. So I guess I don't belong here. It

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

right.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

like, so yeah, so I didn't, I never went back to aa,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

That's totally fair. And thank you for sharing that too, because I think so often if we don't see ourselves reflected in people who are sharing, you know, their. Drinking issues or their substance issues we're just like, oh, it's a free pass. If it's not the extreme, if it's not on one end of the spectrum, then I am, I'm good. I'm totally fine. But it is a spectrum like alcohol use disorder. There's varying degrees and shades in between, and I think that nuance is really integral there were periods in my life I can share that I would be defined as a full-blown alcoholic, especially in COVID. I think it's so wonderful that you got sober, actually, Kristen, right before COVID, because that's when most people, fell off the wagon or were completely off the rails, myself included, I was just like losing my mind, drinking whenever I felt like it, because obviously the world was shut down and I felt like it gave me a permission slip to do whatever I wanted and what I wanted to do was drink. So yeah, I love that you got sober before that point in time. You also mentioned that when you were really focused on modeling and acting, you took your craft very seriously. And so what was your drinking like at that point? Were you able to moderate or monitor your drinking? Because I think that also keeps people kind of stuck or sick, where it's like, oh, well I don't have to drink every day. Like, I'm fine when I'm locked in. I don't need a drink. And that can keep us in that cycle even longer. So do you feel like that. Connects to parts of your story?

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

Yeah. Yeah. I think when I was in those sort of like high stakes career situations, I didn't drink, but here's the really messed up thing. It wasn't really because I need to control my behavior or anything. It was I can't afford the calories,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

yep.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

I'm.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

getting measured at my agency

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Right.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

and I'm obsessed with, how big my hips are, which is so toxic. I mean, that's a whole other

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Right, right.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

right? That whole thing. But it was like, oh, it wasn't even like, I can't drink so. But instead of alcohol though, I would just smoke weed.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Oh yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

I wasn't ever really going completely sober because

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Fair. Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

I was smoking weed. I had a delivery guy in New York that I could text and he'd show up at my apartment with a backpack and I'd pick what I wanted.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Oh my God. What was the service called? It was like something flight, like top flight or I used a service tube back before marijuana was legal everywhere.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

something Ease, I think

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Okay. It was like, so, it was so legit. It was like you had to be referred by someone else and then like if you didn't text the number within like a 15 minute grace period, it was a no go and it was like a whole thing. I, anyway, we probably used a similar service. Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

I mean, but ultimately, think about that. I'm like, just, yeah whatever guy shows

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Oh yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

I'm letting him into my apartment,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

on in, sir. Make yourself comfy. You want something to drink? Yeah. That, that is toxic. I would love to, because like in the industry, like there's two particular industries that you were in at this time where I feel like. Alcohol is prevalent or substances are prevalent. One being the restaurant industry and then the other being obviously the industry related to modeling and acting and people using that as a way to either do a job for example, if you're working in a restaurant, like a lot of people I know that work in that industry, are doing substances like stimulants to stay up because it's such a high driving, demanding job. So my question to you is, did anyone ever say, Kristen, like, I think that you may have an issue, or were you surrounded around people who were similar in their using or their patterns of drinking?

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

Yeah, I think definitely in the restaurant industry, you're surrounded by people who are almost like, proud of being alcoholics. Like I'm sure you've seen that like. Yeah, it's like boasting, like, all right, I'm gonna go. And, it's like people feel like they've earned getting blackout drunk after a six hour shift in West Hollywood. And honestly it's a crazy environment and you have to come down from that. And I did not have the healthy coping mechanisms for that. But definitely in that world it felt like. Just totally accepted and encouraged even.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Right.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

and then, I think that I knew, I think I knew on some level, especially in New York, that it was not professional or, it was not good for me to be at like industry events and be a mess. Like I knew that. But on the flip side of that, there was also this thing, with models in New York where you have these club promoters

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Oh yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

kind of like model wranglers and your agents encourage you to go to these tables and show up and show face and meet some of the other models and like be spotted out at these kind of like, it bars and clubs and things like that. And so you would go there and it's all free booze and you're kind of expected to almost play this role of like, dance on the table, bottle of

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Yeah, like we're gonna make everyone look good because we look good. Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

yeah. There was this weird thing and I had a lot of great friends in New York, a lot of cool girls that I met there who are so intelligent and cool and like smart and all these things. But then there's so much like, this kind of like model trope where, it's just, you're kind of expected to just be like silent and like, I don't know. And

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

was really hard for me'cause I never felt. Authentic, like being that character. So I think it was always a little bit of a struggle and so I would drink to get over the kind of weird persona that I felt like I had to uphold, if that makes any sense.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Yes. Can I objectify you for a second and say that I think you're beautiful. And I cite that or preface what I'm about to say next. Because I'm like, does pretty privilege exist or do you think pretty privilege exists in the realm of addiction? Like, do you think that people looked at you and were just like, oh, Kristen doesn't have any issues because she's gorgeous and like she's a model and she's, an actress and'cause I feel like that's a real thing, like nobody takes seriously because you look great. Even though inside you can be completely broken or struggling.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

A thousand percent. Oh my God. Like, whether it was like, stumbling down the street right in my heels and like, whatever. And people not looking at you sideways, they're just like, oh, like, that girl just came from that club and da. If I was somebody else, doing that, like you would get a different look.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Right. Call the police.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

I.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Call an ambulance, not okay.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

just acting like a, like being blackout drunk and acting like a raging bitch to somebody at a bar, you're gonna get a totally different response, right? So I definitely think that exists, I think it exists on so many levels in addiction recovery, the sobriety world that. Look, this thing exists. It's, it does not discriminate. It does not care what you look like or where you're from or how much money you have. And so you said before, and I think you and I talked about this on my show, it's like we just, that's why we need these stories and we need people showing up and telling their stories because. We're gonna hopefully see someone we relate to and then it clicks and then it goes, oh, okay. Actually, I'm kind of like her, like, maybe I also could get sober,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Right,

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

because Yeah,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Even if I'm not about to give a BJ in the parking lot of a Walmart for, like, I could probably benefit from still cutting back or quitting drinking.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

Right.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

I love that. So, I wanna talk a little bit about. What that early, if you can go back,'cause you've been sober now since 2020. So February 26 you said. So yeah, coming up to five years, which is huge. Wait no six years.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

years.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

It's 20, 25. Girl. Sorry.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

No, that's with you.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

This year was rocky for me,

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

so yeah I'm okay with racing it. But you've been sober for over five years coming up to six, and I would love to hear from you if you can recall what those early days were like, because once you're far removed or like you have some perspective we are like, oh yeah, this is great. Like, why did I drink before? We hear like. Pink clouds So what was your experience like in early sobriety and how did you sustain or know that this was actually going to be like a permanent thing for you?

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

I, well, well, first of all, I do consider it to be just a divine blessing that I got sober before COVID, Do think. That would've maybe been the end for me. I don't know. Luckily we don't ever have to find that out, but

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Amen.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

so the world went into lockdown two weeks after I got sober, which is crazy. But I was in a very safe bubble. I was so, so lucky, like, so privileged. I had just moved back in with my dad and my little sister. So I was living rent free with my family. And I didn't have to worry about a lot of things that other people did during COVID, which I know is definitely a privilege. But, so I spent a lot of time alone. I mean, obviously I had my family there, but I'm telling you like. I would listen to sobriety podcasts, sometimes eight hours a day, back to back,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Wow.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

going through the show notes and finding women specifically who had something in their bio that I could relate to, whether that was, that they were a creative person, right? Or they were like a about my age or something, right. That I thought was cool. And I would listen to those stories back to back and just sort of like reinforce. This decision I had made and like, okay, there's proof that in a few years I could be as happy as this lady, or whatever. listened to a lot of podcasts, started reading again a lot because that's something I didn't do when I was drinking. I would pick it up and put it down. I could barely get through, a few pages without being like, eh, okay, I am, I'm either too drunk for this or I'm gonna drink instead.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

My

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

Yeah, hopefully, man, instead of re I'm just gonna blow up my life.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

how.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

Exactly. I started a garden when I was about th two months sober, maybe maybe not even that. And I just had this like intuitive, like pull to grow something and it was just like I didn't know what to do with myself and I thought, okay, I need to just almost like, I don't know, this sounds very, I don't know, woo, but it was like I needed to just put my hands in the dirt and. Like go back to the just. Back to the grindstone, like, where did I come from? Where am I going? And like for me, gardening became this really spiritual practice. I I often talk about it as a good analogy and kind of metaphor for sobriety because it's like, think about the the faith that is necessary to get sober and believe you're gonna have a better life. Right? And then it's kind of like the same as putting a seed into the ground and you just like. It's gonna grow. And then, the little green sprout comes up and you just, I remember weeping, looking at those little sprouts and just being like, it's a literal miracle. I've made something. So gardening became this whole thing for me, and I started writing again and I think I was about four months in. Maybe less, actually, maybe two or three. When I, I decided to start the Instagram page because I had been going on social media looking for sober content, and I hadn't told anyone that I was sober yet, so I didn't wanna follow these accounts from my personal account. So I literally created like a fta, like I literally created a stalker account.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

this.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

For sobriety and that's, that was creative sobriety

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Wow.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

as a stalker account. And

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

I eventually started posting my own stuff on there, but I didn't show my face for a while. But it was like an accountability tool as well because every day I would. I would go on there and do something. so yeah, those first, I would say six months, were very quiet, a lot of, so solitude. I would I drank a lot of kombucha. I To have something in a wine glass at like 5:00 PM

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

and I did it every single day

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

It's like you replace the ritual. Yeah, you replace the ritual. I still drink my carbonated beverages in a beautiful stem glass, because I have the materials from years of drinking, like, I'm gonna throw it away. No,

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

like I invested in this?

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

I'm gonna glamorize drinking sparkling water like that. That's my whole vibe. Yeah. I love that. I resonate too with the isolation for preparation is something I did in early sobriety. Which is like anti a lot of what the traditional programs recommend, which is like connection, the opposite of addiction is connection. That's a popular saying for me, in the early wee hours of my sobriety, I self isolated. Like I needed to figure out who I was again. I reverted back to a lot of like childhood hobbies that I had before I started drinking. I started to journal again, I don't know if you gardened before, but I really like that metaphor of no, you didn't. Okay, this isn something new. But like that urge, like you felt something internally nudging you to get your hands in there in the dirt. Like a homecoming, you going back to Tennessee and having the time and like feeling like you wanna create something beautiful, which I would love to talk about creative sobriety, which by the way, for a Finsta. Perfect name. I'm so happy that you got that handled. It's, it's perfect. It reflects you. There's no underscore guys at Creative Sobriety link in the show notes. Of course. But yeah can you share a little bit about what that process has looked like for you and how you got in touch with your creativity again,

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

yeah, I mean, it's so wildly different I have so much creative freedom now, and freedom in the sense of like, my creativity is always available to me, because when I was

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

I would. Sure I would have really great ideas. I wrote an entire novel when I was living in LA

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Wow.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

realized. After the fact, after I got sober, when I went back to work on it, that I had written this character, this female protagonist was a complete raging alcoholic, but I had made it so flowery and beautiful that she was just like a wine, enthusiast.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Of course.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

oh my God. So I didn't realize how much the booze culture had colored my creativity. There's just such a limited. Narrative you can go with

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Right.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

and I started realizing just like how pervasive it is in all of our narratives across, TV and film and books and just the way we speak about alcohol, the way we think every time. Two women sit down to have a conversation. There has to be a glass of wine on the table.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Yes.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

it's just like those things started clocking to me in a new way. But, creatively, and I think you said before, you said the opposite of addiction is connection or people, that's something people

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Think Renee Brown. So that's not me.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

I think is beautiful and I think that's very real. But I would say for me, the opposite of addiction is expression because were so many things I wanted to say, create and be. That I never allowed myself a full chance to do it. You know what I mean? And I wanted

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

do.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

I wanted so badly. All I wanted was to be an artist. I wanted to be a creative artist. I wanted to be taken seriously. I wanted to make something that people cared about, but I could never finish anything because I was so in my head. I was so insecure. I was so angry. I was so, hung over. I was so distracted. By the wrong things. so for me, sobriety is, has given me the freedom to like, see these things through, like have an idea and make it start to finish, and like trust myself. I think sobriety opens up our intuition in a way that is not available to us when we're drinking. I think it

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Absolutely.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

that. Pipeline. And I think creativity for me comes from a very spiritual place. It's almost like they're worldly. How do we get these ideas, like how do we come up with these just insane, beautiful, original things. And like for me, that's almost. That's almost like a spiritual connection. And I think being sober has really freed up that spiritual highway. So it's like I can connect with it continuously and it's not ever, it's not ever clogged up. So, I think I like a lot of people romanticized the whole tortured artist thing.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Yes.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

my pain and sobriety has allowed me to alchemize my pain and not live in it.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Right.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180443:

but to look at it truthfully, look at it, and then tell the truth about it, instead of painting it as something it's not

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_190443:

Rose colored. Yeah, a lot of the drinking is a form of self protection. Like it's not a healthy coping mechanism, but we think in that moment when we're reaching for whatever source of, comfort in that moment, that thing is going to make us feel better. And it does maybe momentarily, but it's a fleeting, moment. And that's where that. Cycle really kicks in because then you're gonna have to keep reaching for some external source as opposed to looking inward. So I love that you shared that, and I genuinely mean this when I say I prefer. The way you phrased it, which is the opposite of addiction, is expression. And even with me journaling, like I had a voice, I had so many things that were stifled that I wouldn't admit to myself or to other people like God. Heaven forbid anyone knew what I was struggling with. When I started to finally. Own up to stuff and admit things to my therapist. That gave me, I think a nod of confidence to where it's doesn't make me a horrible person. Like I'm not completely damaged goods, or I'm not completely helpless in the situation, in this narrative. Like, I can change it and if there are things about me, I don't like, change it then like, you know, so that really was the start for me. And then, like I mentioned, like the expression comes out in many different forms and. Similar to you also feel like creativity really has to come from a source within, but also a connection to something else as well.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Kristen, you've had this really big, expansive, creative journey who do you typically like, who do you think creative sobriety resonates with in terms of demographics? Who are you connecting with? Because we've both talked about this idea of feeling like we need to see ourselves in people, maybe to get that spark of inspiration to start. Making changes because if you don't know anyone personally in your life that you connect with that is also sober. It can be difficult for people to like even take that leap of faith. So who do you think you connect with and beyond that question, who would you like to reach with creative sobriety and not just your account because Instagram is Instagram, but like the connections you make in terms of like impact.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

Yeah, that is such a great question. Thank

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Thank you.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

I think, you know, I mean, my audience is hugely women, right? It's hugely women. 20. Yeah, like 25 to 45 you know, and beyond. Certainly I have some older women too, which I love. I'd love to reach more older women actually. But yeah I definitely am have the ladies, which I'm so grateful for because honestly, that was my intention, right? Was. wanna connect with other women like me who were kind of sold this rotten bag of goods, that alcohol is the gatekeeper of fun, sex, joy, success and kind of be like, Hey guys. No, it's not. And also there's nothing wrong with you if you don't fit into a category, because that was really big for me. I didn't ever wanna call myself an alcoholic or an addict. I didn't relate to that language. I didn't wanna go to aa. needed to feel empowered. I needed to like a hundred percent buy-in to sobriety as an upgrade. And so I think I connect with women who have also maybe been a little bit turned off by traditional recovery rhetoric, who are probably creative women in some capacity, whether they realize it or not. By the way they've lived their lives and choices they've made and things that they're interested in and really are now at a place where they want to just unapologetically. Be themselves without alcohol and own that, you know, own what that means. And so I try to I just try to say the thing that I was scared to say for so long because like know that's the thing. If I saw another woman say it would've clocked something for me,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Yep. Yep.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

So yeah, I hope I reach those women. I hope I reach women who are sort of in the booze. Hustle culture and don't realize maybe there's a whole other way to do life and that it's actually not this boring, sad loss of anything. It's so the opposite of that. And I really think that women are collectively awakening to that. I think that's, why you and I are here. I think that's why sober Instagram is what it is. And we're having these conversations on a huge scale now because I think people are just sick of that shit. They're sick of the,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Yes.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

bullshit and booze definitely falls into that category for me.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

I agree. I think women have been sold this life for so long, and like the marketing, it feels like it's specifically tailored for women alcohol. We weren't allowed to drink alcohol years ago, but like all of a sudden it's yeah, that boozy culture, that mommy wine culture,

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the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Labels can be really scary. I need to take inventory of this word of alcoholic or revisit my earlier beliefs because I. Called myself many times on and off record an alcoholic. Like a scare tactic, as a way to keep myself from believing that I'm ever capable of drinking again and being able to drink again. Like some people can drink and have one and be fine. That's not me. That's never been my jam. Can I have one? Yes. Will I be happy about it? No. So I just don't wanna. Slide back to where I started. So that's why I like default and tell myself that I'm an alcoholic. And so I don't love the verbiage and it was very discouraging to go to, this is why I don't attend meetings anymore, AA meetings, to hear like the self defecating, like I'm a piece of shit. Nobody actually says that. Hello, my, I'm a piece of shit. But it feels very much Hey this I stopped feeling good after I left meetings and so, yeah. So much of that literature, comes from. The big book is just like very male centered, and they're like, oh don't pay attention to that language. But I'm like,

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

not, don't think about everything is male centered. Yeah, don't think, don't focus on that.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

It can be really wonderful for people, but I think that's always my point when I talk about this is like everybody's brain is incentivized by different things. Do you

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Yeah. Yes.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

the word alcoholic for some is empowering because it gives them a definition, it gives them a clear picture of why they're not doing a thing. But for me, you know, for me it was the opposite because I had also lived my life for so long with these excuses for why I drank. Right. Well, this terrible thing happened to me of course I drank. Like you haven't been through what I went through and I carried that. Like that trauma, like a badge of honor. This is why I am fucked up y'all. You know what I

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Yeah. Yeah,

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

And so alcoholic for me, especially early in sobriety, could have very much been just another excuse for why I drink.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

for me it was like, okay, if I'm gonna do this, if I have the power. To turn my life into a pile of shit, which I had effectively done Then, okay, well then I also have the power to change my life. If I'm so powerful, you know, that I can completely fuck everything, then I am that powerful that I can change everything. And so the powerlessness

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

And

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

in

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

that's like the first thing they talk about.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

just

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

I'm powerless over this. That's like step one.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

my whole life feeling powerless to everyone and every man in every room I've ever been in, and that's the last thing that's gonna get me sober. But yeah, I think it's important to, to hear all sides of that story, right? Because people, it's gonna work for some people and it's not gonna work for some people. And people need to know that there are alternatives. You know, they're not a lost cause if it doesn't work.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Do, what works for you but another issue for me with AA is that they would say things like If you are not working the steps, you will drink again. It's feels a bit fear mongering, where it's oh, if I don't subscribe to these beliefs, like I'm an alcoholic, so I'm gonna die. I'm gonna basically have this disease for the rest of my life. And if I don't continue to work the program, then I'm a lost cause. And so ultimately that's why I don't go to meetings anymore. That part was very like, eh, icky for me.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

We talk a lot about this, especially in the modern feminist culture of decentering men, right? And so in from that lens thing, I think about AA as it's still centering alcohol,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

And

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Yep.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

so we're talking about it. We're constantly acknowledging it. We're constantly giving it this control over us or

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

I think about this.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

So. That idea to me was like, no, I wanna knock alcohol completely off of this pedestal that I've put it on. I

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

to continue almost worshiping it in the sense that it's so almighty, you know? It's no, I wanna make it irrelevant. Like I just don't give a fuck about alcohol

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Yeah. Yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

that place. You know what I mean?

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

And that's the place I am today, four years ago when I was just getting sober. And no, it was like unfathomable for me to think that I could live life without the substance. But today I am like, I don't drink. Not because I'm afraid that I'm an alcoholic. I don't drink because I don't want to like, I just don't want to. Like, why? Why would I ever wanna be like that? That is freedom. That is freedom. So I don't even know am I an alcoholic? I don't know. I don't even care. I just know that I don't care about. Ever drinking and it's, there's nothing sexy about or like alcohol or me romanticizing my past with alcohol, that relationship,'cause it definitely felt like an in entanglement, I'll say for too long.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

a thousand percent.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

I love that. So, I wanna, would love to wind down with a couple of things. So the first thing, I found an amazing article that you were featured in. The Medium article by Yi. Wiener or Weiner, sorry. Here's of the addiction crisis, how Kristen Bearer of Creative Sobriety is helping to battle one of the most serious epidemics, and this article's amazing. I will link it in the show notes if you're curious. But something that really stood out to me is you said, Kristen mentioned in this article you said, I want them to know that they don't need anything, whether it's alcohol, drugs, or whatever, they think they need to feel, quote enough. They were always whole without it. And I want people to show up as their true selves, and I believe the world wants to see that too. If me showing up authentically can help someone else. Feel they have permission to do the same. That would be the message I want to share, which I think is so beautiful. Why am I drinking this? Why am I doing this over and over? I want more depth in my life. I want intentionality, I want purpose. That message was really powerful for me. How do people take that step back and take inventory of, wait, why am I drinking this? We don't always question like, why what's driving us to make this choice to reach for the drink, you know what I mean?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

I mean, so often these behaviors are mindless, they're just mindless reactions to a, an environment that we're in or a friend that we see, or something we do routinely, right? We order the same drink, we do the same thing, and it's like really, I would really love for people to allow themselves the space to get curious about why they do the. Things they do. Like it really

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Okay.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

with curiosity. You know, I think the first question is, why do I feel the need to have an alcoholic drink when I go to A, B, C, and D? Right?

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Right.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

the next question is would my life, could my life possibly reach a new level or I could reach a new amount of fulfillment or productivity or creativity or whatever the thing is if I just removed this one thing, like what if? What if alcohol and your relationship to it your routine with it was the only thing holding you back from like level 10. Think about it, you know? And so, yeah, just getting curious about why we do all the things we do from, like why we choose the clothes we're gonna wear that day, to what we drink at dinner, to what we cook for dinner, to like why we go feel the need to hang out with this friend who's like always making us feel insecure or like Us. Like why do we do these things, you know? And can I choose different.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

How has your life changed since getting sober?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

I mean complete, like 180 360. I don't know the right one for that, but I mean, everything is different.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Yeah,

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

Both, I don't Yeah. Completely different. I am no longer I think, by shame and insecurity and I think I live my life now from a place of kind of like self-acceptance, and that sounds kind of cheesy, but that's really the foundation of all of this for me, is like learning to love myself and all the different versions of myself that survived what she survived and didn't crumble. That allowed me to get to here, because I think there were so many things that I think could have. I don't know, really veered my life in a bad direction. But somewhere I think I always just had this hope that I was gonna end up in a place that was joyful and happy and abundant and safe and like all of these things. So I'm very grateful for the versions of me that didn't give up, you know? So I just live with a lot more gratitude. I mean, completely new sense of gratitude. I think most sober people can understand when I say that because, it's three months for some people. Sometimes it's more like six, but you hit the kind of pink cloud moment. And that did happen for me. I think I was driving on a back road with my windows down. The sun was like shining into the car, and I was listening to my favorite Joni record Joni Mitchell record, and I just started weeping. I was

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

I love that. I love that.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

beautiful

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

have time. I have time to be whoever the fuck I wanna be, and I'm gonna do that. You know? Yeah. I just am so much more optimistic and hopeful. I believe in myself more. I mean, that's, you know, cheesy, but it's true.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Cheesy, but it's true. And yeah, I think the shift is the serotonin versus the dopamine. That instant gratification when we reach for the drink because we're uncomfortable versus delay until you actually start to feel good It will come. I promise it will come even if it feels impossible in the beginning. So thank you for sharing that. Kristen. I wanna wind down. With a little game. Are you game to play?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

I am so game.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Okay. I'm so excited. We're gonna do a quick rapid fire style game and I like to make up games. So this doesn't officially have a name, but I'm thinking like, maybe we can call it like a creative spark. Creative spark. Okay. So just whatever comes to mind. Rapid fire. Don't overthink it. What is a creative ritual you swear by

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

writing. That's not

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Makes sense.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

is it?

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

You're a great writer. No that's a ritual. Like when do you write?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

it. I have to do it every day. That's the ritual. No matter if it's one word, I have to do it.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

I love that. A journal every day now, and I can't wait to look back one day and just be like, oh, look how interesting my life was. Pre sobriety, post sobriety. It's all interesting.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

It's all material.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Yes, too much material. What is your sober superpower?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

My intuition, my.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Ooh. And you're more in touch with it. Ah, I love that.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

It's just, it's always there and I trust it now a lot more easily and quick, quickly than I used to.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Ladies, listen to your intuition. Don't let anyone tell you it's not real. My intuition will not steer you wrong. What's a book or a show or a song, that you feel has shaped you?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

Women who Run with the Wolves

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

When you said intuition, I thought that book literally, sorry to cut you off. I, yes, I love that book. My Spanish therapist recommended it to me when, right before I got Spanish therapist, my Spanish. Teacher who was like a therapist before I got sober, recommended I read that book and chefs like that book changed my entire life too. That book is so powerful'cause it just breaks down all the archetypes and how we as women stifle that like wildness and like we can lean into it. We can be fully colored and fully dimensional. Yeah,

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

Yes. And I

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

I love that.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

a really good a really good interpretation of wild woman, you know, and not in the sense of like alcohol and drugs, right? There's a Yeah, I wanna be feral, I wanna be fucking Like I wanna

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

My truest auth, most authentic self. And yeah, every woman should read that book. I have the whole thing highlighted pretty much like start to finish. It's just one big highlight.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

I read it before sobriety. Do you think I should read it now?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

I

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

I'm gonna, I'm gonna break it back out.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

But I pick it up now. I would say at least once a week, sometimes

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Oh, wow.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

Open and find a highlight and be like because

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

hit different now that I'm sober.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Okay. This is my sign to pick that book back up since I haven't read it since. Before getting sober. Okay, kristen, what would you say is your go-to and na drink?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

Ooh. I have been really into NA wine for the last few months. I love like a sparkling bubbly. I'm a big fan of Noughty. The

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Oh, I love naughty. They're the best. They're the best red, in my opinion.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

Is really good. I love French Bloom. I think theirs is like a really lovely, sophisticated bubbles. And then also Omo has this beautiful red, which to me.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Okay.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

you could look it up. It's it's, honestly, it's pretty impressive. So I've been into the wine stuff, but I do love, like an adaptogenic, functional, I love things with like herbs. I'm into herbalism right now. So.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Makes sense. With the gardening.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

Yeah,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

like, okay, I wanna put good stuff into my body, you know? It's like we quit drinking and the, at first the goal is just don't drink. And then you get to a point where you're just like, oh, okay, now I wanna go the opposite direction. I just wanna put like only the most amazing, healthy, like what can this do for me into my body? You know? Like I wanna go in the opposite direction, be.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

360 whatever, 360. We don't know the degrees, but yeah, that again, yes I love that. Okay, two more. What is one thing that you think people would be shocked to learn about you or know about you?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

Oh gosh. Well, I mean, I guess some people know about me. I guess I've talked about it quite a bit, but I actually built a house out of a shipping container. I started at the. First,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Wow.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

year after I got sober. So yeah, I live in a, I live in a shipping container in the middle of the woods.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

That's amazing. Wait, you built it yourself?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

Yeah, my dad is an engineer and

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Oh, cool.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

to him with this idea during COVID that I need to build a house for myself because I can't do COVID again. I won't survive it, you know, as

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

artist and freelancer. so I just got really obsessed with researching the tiny. Options. And I fell in love with the shipping container and it took me almost four years.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Wow,

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

like as I could, and I was determined to like. a place that I could live in that I didn't have to pay for and I could just

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

that's amazing.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

So anyways, yeah, so that's weird. And I live like in the middle of nowhere. I live like an hour plus away from Nashville. And so I spend a lot of my time here in the tiny house working in just vibing the woods.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

I was just about to say, I feel like I'm imagining you in the woods, which makes sense with women who run wolves like you are out there.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

I really took it far. Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

That's amazing. I feel like I live in a tiny house because I live in a studio, but unfortunately my fricking rent is astronomical, so I love that. For you, I feel I definitely could live in a tiny house and I wish I wasn't paying a big fucking rent bill every month for the tiny space I have, but I'm so for that. That's very cool. Final question

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

Okay.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

for you. Rapid fire What is a creative project you are dreaming about but haven't maybe started yet? Or maybe you have started it but maybe not finished?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

Yes. So definitely the project that I'm dreaming

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

I.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

I think about it nonstop and I have been working on it for a couple of years, but I've really, I just kind of made the decision in the last few months of I'm really devoting my time only to this for this foreseeable future is a book that I'm writing. Always wanted to write a book, but I was writing fiction for years and then when I got sober I realized that if I was going to write anything worth a damn. had to write my story first. I had to be honest, and that was like the scariest thing to write to me. So I knew it was a thing I needed to write. So I've been working on a memoir, it's narrative nonfiction you know, just the whole story of like why I drank, why I think a lot of women drink, why I think the the alcohol industry is. Sending dangerous and toxic messaging to women and,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

you know, how I got sober and how I created a life for myself. Out of all of that, you know, and coming home to myself and literally building a hump. So it's kind of all of those things.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

I can't wait to read that sign me up for the pre-order, like officially I want in. You are a writer, you're creative and your story is so deeply relatable and powerful. I know that your book will be a major hit. So I cannot wait for that to come out.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

You are so sweet. Thank you. Yeah. Maybe you can be an accountability partner for me. You can just send me a message every couple weeks like, Hey bitch,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

How's the book?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

you?

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

How's the book? 2026

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

Yeah,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

drop the date?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

It's time.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

I will follow up with you and I believe that that's the beautiful thing about sobriety. Once you Stop drinking, you stop making excuses. Like you're like, wait, I did that hard thing. What else can I do? I cannot wait for that to come out and I'm so proud of you because that's a brave thing to do and anyone listening at home, make sure you sign up to get Kristen's book and I will keep you accountable.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

It happen. Yeah. 2026 is the year.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

2026. Can't wait. Because we talked about this. 2025 was garbage. Not garbage. Everything is meant to happen, but like I cannot wait for this year to be over. Thank you so much, Kristen. I'm so excited to share this episode. Obviously we folks at home, this was such a great conversation. I learned so much from you. I would just like to. The conversation by asking you to just share anything that comes to mind, but also like where listeners can find you how they can connect with creative sobriety and any messages you wanna leave with us or anyone who's exploring creativity and sobriety and or both together.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

Thank you. I would love to connect with any of you guys. Please. Instagram message me on. Instagram, I am on TikTok, but that's, I'm very unhinged and I don't know, it's kinda all over the place. Instagram, I also write on Substack. If any of you guys are, you know, avid readers and you like Substack content, I have a newsletter. It's also called Creative Sobriety, and I would love it if you subscribe there. I write a lot about. Sobriety, but also the alcohol industry and the news happening with all of that. And then also a lot of narrative nonfiction, kind of similar to the way I'm writing my memoir, so you can get kind of an idea of some of the themes that I like to write about. but yeah, I just would love for. People to, you know, get curious about their lives. That's my biggest piece of advice. You don't have to define yourself. You don't have to decide you're never gonna drink again. Just allow yourself an opportunity to try something new and to try and move a different way, because it literally might be the thing that changes everything and you deserve to see how good you can be in this life. So go for

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2025_194547:

Thank you Kristen, for coming on.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184546:

Thank you, Nadine. Thank you for everything you do. I think you are a superstar, and I'm so glad we know each other now.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-21-2025_055103:

That is a wrap on my conversation with Kristen Bear from Creative Sobriety. If something Kristen said landed in your chest, if you felt that nudge of inspiration or that little spark to explore your own creativity. Follow it. That's the magic of conversations like this. They tend to unlock something that's already inside of you. So make sure you check out Kristen's, work over at Creative Sobriety, community that she's built on Instagram. Check out her writing on Substack, her podcast on all of the streaming platforms and stay tuned for her incredible memoir coming out. You heard it here for the first time, 2026. I will link everything below in the show notes for you to make it easy. And if this episode resonated with you, which I would hope after listening for an hour something resonated with you, please share this with a friend, leave a review. Tag us on socials. It really helps the show grow some more sober and sober curious butterflies can find us. Thank you so much for spending this time with me. I hope you guys have an amazing Thanksgiving next week. I will be in El Salvador, so stay tuned for that update. Solo trip to El Salvador over here. And yeah, I'll keep you posted. As always, keep choosing yourself. Keep showing up for yourself. Keep expressing yourself. Yeah, that was really powerful when kristen was like, the opposite of addiction is expression, so make sure you're finding ways to live your truth. Express your truth to transform into the most creative, vibrant version of you. I love you butterflies. See you next time.