Why Dry January Isn’t the Same as Sobriety (And Why That Matters)

In this honest and educational solo episode of The Sober Butterfly Podcast, host Nadine Mulvina explores why Dry January isn’t the same as sobriety—and why that distinction matters for anyone questioning their relationship with alcohol.

Drawing from personal experience and years of conversations within the sober and sober-curious community, Nadine breaks down the two biggest pitfalls of Dry January: the “fuck it” mindset when the challenge feels too hard, and the false reassurance that completing 30 days automatically means alcohol isn’t an issue. She explains how both can keep people stuck in the same drinking patterns long-term.

This episode reframes Dry January as a starting point—not a finish line—and offers practical, compassionate guidance for those attempting Dry January, as well as tools and reminders for people who are already sober and navigating January with clarity and intention.

Whether you’re sober, sober-curious, taking a break, or supporting someone who is, this episode invites you to prioritize honesty, self-trust, and sustainable change over perfection or willpower.

🦋 In This Episode, Nadine Discusses:

• Why Dry January is not the same as long-term sobriety
• The difference between a 30-day alcohol break and an identity shift
• How the “fuck it” mindset can sabotage Dry January attempts
• Why completing Dry January doesn’t automatically mean alcohol isn’t a problem
• White-knuckling Dry January vs. white-knuckling sobriety
• How sobriety removes distortion and builds clarity
• Practical tips for doing Dry January in a supportive, self-aware way
• Why willpower alone isn’t a plan
• How to create replacements instead of just restrictions
• The importance of having a post-January plan
• Guidance for sober listeners navigating January
• Why sobriety isn’t a trend—it’s a lifestyle

🧠 Key Takeaways:

• You don’t attract change by forcing it—you create it through honesty
• Dry January can reveal patterns, but reflection is what creates growth
• Sobriety is about alignment, not deprivation
• White-knuckling is a signal—not a failure
• Support, systems, and self-trust matter more than perfection

💛 Support & Resources

If this episode brings up questions or concerns about your relationship with alcohol, you are not alone, and support is available.

🇺🇸 United States

• SAMHSA National Helpline
  📞 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
  🌐 https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
  
  Free, confidential support available 24/7 for individuals and families

🌍 International

• Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
  🌐 https://www.aa.org
  
  Meetings available worldwide (in-person & online)
• SMART Recovery (science-based, non-12-step)
  🌐 https://www.smartrecovery.org
  
  Tools and meetings for people seeking a balanced approach
• Women for Sobriety
  🌐 https://womenforsobriety.org
  
  Supportive community specifically for women
• Sober Curious / Moderation Support
  🌐 https://www.alcoholchange.org.uk
  
  Evidence-based resources around alcohol awareness and change

Transcript

the-sober-butterfly_27_01-08-2026_070651: 0:01

Hello, my beautiful butterflies. Welcome back to the Sober Butterfly Podcast. If you are new here. I'm Nadine Sober since July 5th, 2021. And this is a space where we talk sobriety, self-trust, glow ups, healing, and building a life that actually feels good to wake up to Happy New Year. I haven't seen you guys since last year, so welcome to 2026. With this being the start of a new year,, today we're talking all about dry, January, and I wanna say this clearly. Dry January is not the same thing as sobriety, and that's not shade. Okay? That's not me gatekeeping. That's not me being like, oh, if you're not sober, don't talk to me. Okay? No. Dry, January can actually be a great starting point. It can be the first time someone realizes, wait. I actually do use alcohol to cope, or it can be the first time someone proves to themselves that they can attend a dinner, a party, a date without a drink in hand, but, but it can also be. A little slippery because it can accidentally promote this fuck it mindset if you can't complete the challenge. That was definitely me. Many of the times I attempted to do dry January before actually getting sober and it can also delude people into thinking that maybe they don't have a quote problem if they can complete. The challenge and then,, come February 1st, they go right back to drinking the same way. So in today's episode, I'm breaking down why dry January is not sobriety. What Dry? January is actually good for. How to do it in a way that helps you instead of shaming you. And then I'll talk to my sober butterflies about how to protect your peace in January too.

the-sober-butterfly_27_01-08-2026_071000: 2:06

One quick note before we get into the full episode. If you drink heavily or daily, stopping suddenly can cause withdrawal symptoms and can be dangerous, so please talk to a medical professional if that might be you. All right, let's get into it.

the-sober-butterfly_27_01-08-2026_071044: 2:30

Let's start by defining terms, okay? Dry January is a challenge. I'm not drinking for 30 days Sobriety. Is a lifestyle and the choice that you make over and over again one day at a time. As the old adage goes, sobriety is not a challenge, but it is a commitment to how you want to live. Dry. January is time bound. Sobriety is identity bound. The last episode of 2025. On this podcast, I talked about identity shifts to quantum leap using the laws of quantum physics to manifest and attract the best year for yourself in 2026. And a big part of that was. Embodying the identity that you are becoming. And so sobriety aids with that dry January is like, let me just try this for a month. Whereas sobriety is, I'm building a life where alcohol does not fit anymore. And what I want you to understand is you can do dry January and learn something powerful. You can also do dry January and learn absolutely nothing, which was the case for me. Especially if you're white knuckling your way through it, and February just becomes that reward for completing this challenge. So the question here is not, can I not drink for 30 days? The question is, what changes in me? What do I learn about myself? What do I do with that information? So where did dry January come from? Dry January was officially launched by the uk Charity Alcohol Change UK in 2013. And they say it started with about 4,000 people. I was actually born in London and spent the first tennis years of my life there. As a British person without an accent, the Brits like to drink. Okay. So it doesn't surprise me that this movement dry January started as a public campaign and it was inspired by a woman named Emily Robinson, who did an alcohol free January in 2011 while training for a half marathon notice the benefits, and then helped turn this into a public campaign that we are familiar with. Fast forward almost 15 years later, you know it's huge. Now, alcohol Change UK says about 200,000 people took part in Dry, January in 2025. And here's the thing, the point of Dry, January was never to crown you as fixed or fine. It's a public health campaign to help people pause. Reset, reflect and potentially change their drinking long-term. In fact, alcohol will change UK points to research suggesting many participants drink less risk Lee months later. So the campaign itself, great intention, but the way people use it, that's where it gets messy. And the mess really can be derived from two traps. I'll call them when it comes to dry January. And this is once again, a clear distinction as to why dry January is not sobriety. So the first trap I want to talk to you guys about. Is the fuck it mindset. Okay? This one I know personally very well. Dry January can become this like all or nothing, moral test. And when you treat it like a test, what happens when you fail? You don't just have one drink, you have a shame spiral. Okay? It's like day one. January 1st. I am glowing. I'm that girl. I'm going into the new year as a new me. Okay? Day six. Okay, I'm annoyed, but I'm still doing this. Whatever day. 11, stressful day at work. Awkward dinner, awkward date, whatever you drink, and then suddenly your brain goes well. Fuck it and here's the thing that like, fuck, it doesn't just end dry January. It can also turn into, I already ruined it, so I might as well drink for the rest of the month. I can't do anything, right? You see why I need alcohol? I'll start over on Monday. And I used to do that. In my drinking era. I had multiple attempts at doing or trying to do dry January, and it always started cute. i'd be like, okay, I'm going to be healthy. I'm going to be that Pilates girl. I'm going to wake up at 6:00 AM and then life with life, you know? And instead of learning from it, I would punish myself with that mindset. You know, if I can't do it perfectly, I'm not doing it at all. And me idolizing this idea of like doing everything perfectly. Maybe that's just me thing, being a semi perfectionist, but I just had this mindset, very black and white. And that's not what sobriety is about. That's perfectionism. Sobriety is not perfectionism. Sobriety is honesty. The second trap that I often find people. Stuck in is the quote. See, I don't have a problem mindset, and in my opinion, the second trap is more insidious. It's more sneaky because it sounds like a win. I have some friends who've completed dry January and they go, see, I don't have a problem. I can stop whenever I want to. And the issue here is stopping for 30 days doesn't automatically prove that you don't have a problem. Okay. It just proves that you stopped drinking for 30 days because the real question is what happens when you start drinking again? Do you go back to the same drinking patterns? Binge drinking blackouts? I'll only drink on weekends turning into Thursdays too. Drinking to manage anxiety. Stress, drinking to tolerate your own life. So completing dry January can become a permission slip like I earned this. I proved it. I can now go back and if nothing changes except the calendar, then dry January was basically a tolerance break.

the-sober-butterfly_27_01-08-2026_072042: 9:17

Let's talk about white knuckling. The most successful Dry of January I ever had before getting sober that is, was. 2020. So I had a crazy New Year's Eve going into 2020 where I completely blacked out after drinking. Pretty much a handle of vodka and then going to the club and I was confronted at the start of 2020 with images from a club promoter of me basically standing up in the club asleep and then subsequently getting kicked outta upset club for sleeping. Apparently you can't sleep in clubs. Who knew? Um, me because I've actually slept more than once in clubs and I know that you can't sleep in clubs. They will kick you out. It's not good for the image, I suppose. Anyway, so I woke up in a state of complete chaos and eagerly signed up to Do dry January, and it was my most successful dry January because I only drank two times during the course of that month. And the two times I drank is not important here. One was because I had this dinner party I was going to and I just really wanted to drink for that and the other time I think I went on like a date, but the real focus here is like the whole time I was doing dry January that year, even though I was like more successful than I'd ever been. And I'd taken a break from drinking for the longest stint of time that I can remember prior to that. The whole time I was doing the dry January challenge, I was miserable. And that's the thing about white knuckling. You're technically doing it, but you're not happy doing it. And I wanna normalize this, A lot of people, white knuckle dry January, a lot of people white knuckle sobriety too. And these are composite examples, meaning I'm blending common experiences I've heard over the years from community conversations, and so maybe if you're wondering, if you're white knuckling dry January, here's what it can look like. It can look like counting the days like they're a prison sentence. Avoiding your friends because they're gonna go drink, being irritated at everyone and everything. Romanticizing February 1st, like it's your birthday. Replacing alcohol with sugar or doom scrolling or shopping. Telling yourself that I deserve a drink every single night. White knuckling can also occur in sobriety, and if you're sober and wondering if you're white knuckling your way through this sober life. Here are some signs. It can look like, you know, I'm sober, but I hate everyone and everything. You know, I'm not drinking, but I'm still angry. I'm doing this with willpower only. It can look like isolation, resentment, No joy. No tools, no support. You're in survival mode. What I want you to hear from this is that willpower is not a plan alone. Willpower is a match. It lights something, but it doesn't keep you warm. All winter support keeps you warm. Systems keep you warm. Healing keeps you warm. And I also wanna ground this in reality because sometimes we think it's just us. But you're not alone. Okay. According to the US National Survey on drug use in health, which is N-S-D-U-H or NSD, 10.3% of adults had alcohol use disorder, which is about 27.1 million adults and 5.5 of adults reported. Heavy alcohol use in the past month, and that's just what, when people are actually being honest. And so if dry January is hard, if you're thinking about your relationship with alcohol, if you are sober and January just feels off or strange or weird for you, you are not dramatic, you're not broken, you are not alone. I wanna help you do Dry, January in a way that supports you and helps you if you are planning. Or currently doing dry January. So now let's get super practical. If you are doing dry January and you're not sober, here is my guidance based off of my lived experience before getting sober and many failed attempts at dry January. And also from my perspective, as someone who has not consumed alcohol coming up to five years, my first piece of guidance for you is don't make it a morality test. Make it a data collection month. You are not quote like, good. You complete it and you're not bad. If you don't, you are simply gathering information. I want you to ask yourself, when do I crave alcohol Most? What emotions trigger me? What situations are triggering me? What are my beliefs? What beliefs do I have about alcohol? Those are the questions that are going to guide or help you collect the most neutral. Data possible to then make a clear decision around where you stand when it comes to your relationship with alcohol. The second thing I want you to think about is choosing a very clear why, and I don't want your why to be because everyone else is doing it and it's January a real why can look like I want to see what my anxiety is like without alcohol. Or maybe you wanna get better sleep, or I wanna stop binging. I wanna prove to myself I can cope differently. Those are whys that will actually guide you as opposed to just blindly following the masses. Number three, I want you to build replacements, not just restrictions. You need this to become a ritual. Some examples of building replacements, not restrictions. Include romanticizing your life, getting a little d Lulu here. So one of my favorite examples of this is a fancy non-alcoholic drink ritual. Don't throw away, you know, your beautiful stem glasses, whatever you may have in the cabinet, I want you to grab those and make it cute. Garnish. Include some lime. Make it cute. Other examples include an evening walk, maybe hot shower and tea movement, like Pilates or yoga journaling for five minutes. The key thing here is you're not just removing alcohol, you're replacing. What alcohol did for you. That is the key distinction. The fourth thing is I want you to plan for cravings. like they are scheduled in your calendar. Cravings are actually pretty predictable, so once you start to take inventory of what's triggering you and like when you are craving a drink, A lot of cravings can be linked back to this acronym that's really helpful in the sober community recovery spaces, and that acronym is halt, H-A-L-T-H stands for Hungry, a angry l, lonely T Tired. I'm telling you, cravings are predictable. A lot of the times you are one of those four things. You're either hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, and once you start to distinguish, like when those cravings are showing up for you, you can play the tape forward. If I drink today or tonight, what happens tomorrow? You already know because you're stuck. You've been stuck in that loop for so long. The fifth thing I want you to think about if you're doing dry jan is make a February plan now, and this is huge because if your only plan is I can't wait until February, you will bounce right back to where you started. Decide today, are you extending it to 60 days or 90 days? Back in 2023, I ran the New York City Marathon, and when I was training this coach gave me excellent advice that can be applied here. I was cutting it very close to the actual marathon date and I was worried that I wouldn't have enough mileage under my belt to complete the entire 26.2 miles. And a running coach told me, this is maybe like two weeks out from the marathon. I had all of these very ambitious goals around like, oh, I have to run 20 miles before the race. And she was like, back it up because you know, we're so close. Like people injure themselves or you could get sick because you're overexerting your body. She's like, I want you to run. Half a marathon on one of your long runs, and then when you get to that 13 mile marker, I want you to push yourself another mile. So basically her advice to me was like, I want you to run 14 miles, because when you have a very clear metric in mind, like your body will stop. Okay? Like you'll lose momentum and I think her philosophy really worked and is helpful here as well, because when you have a very clear, like marker, or in this case date in mind, you can use momentum and adrenaline and like willpower to fuel you up to that point. But as soon as you finish, you already feel rewarded and you're done. When you give yourself a very clear goal, you most likely can meet that goal, but you're not going to push forward once you have reached that marker. So I want you to decide now, are you extending your dry Jan to 60 days or 90 days? Are you doing dry ish? You know, with strict limits? Are you changing the way you drink permanently? And that goes back to your why, like why are you doing this? And my last piece of guidance related to this is a safety check. Quitting can be risky for heavy drinkers. So if you are someone who drinks daily or heavily stopping abruptly can cause withdrawal symptoms and may require medical guidance. It's okay to get support that is actually smart. So if you need help finding support in the US, I will link some free, confidential resources in the show notes, so be sure to check that out.

the-sober-butterfly_27_01-08-2026_073626: 19:55

Now for my sober listeners, January can be weird. And I think that's because suddenly everyone is like doing what you do, what you have been doing. And sometimes I can feel invalidating like, oh, so sobriety is just a cute monthly challenge now, and but here's the reframe. They are visiting. You live here? Okay. Dry January is a doorway. Sobriety is the home you've built. So how do you keep choosing sobriety this year? I have some guidance for you as well. Number one, I want you to recommit to your why. Write it down. Say it out loud. Remember what alcohol cost you. Number two, I want you to protect your routines. January is not the month to freestyle. If you're feeling wobbly in your sobriety, you can keep it super simple. In fact, I want you to keep it super simple here. We can be very ambitious. We can lose the plot very easily when we have so many distractions. January, I think, is a great reset opportunity. Keep it simple and check in with your systems and your routines. Sleep. Are you getting enough food? Are you nourishing your body properly? Movement? Are you intentionally planning opportunities for you to move your body? Do you need support? Are you going to meetings? Do you have a community you can feel connected to? Are you in therapy? No. Your d Lulu best friend does not count here. I'm sorry, what is your mental health like during this time of year? I think January is particularly hard because the holidays are behind us. What are we looking forward to? Winter. Is wintering. Okay? It's dark. So make sure that you're checking in with your mental health and then I believe creativity creates so much opportunity for us to grow. Everyone needs creative outlets, so how are you able to express yourself? I loved when Creative Sobriety, Kristen Bearer came on the podcast and she said the opposite of addiction is expression. I find that to be so true for me. And so yes, you need to have some way to create, in my opinion, number three. You gotta watch out for the comparison sobriety trap. Don't let one of your former drinking buddies make you question the severity of your past. Like, oh, they co completed joined January. Like maybe severity of my drinking wasn't, you know, too bad. No, honey. You changed your life for a reason. Stay grounded, stay anchored. The fourth thing I wanna talk to you about, which I mentioned earlier, is do not white knuckle your way through sobriety. Whether this is your first day of choosing to be sober or your 10th year. If you are feeling edgy or resentful or depleted, that is not a character flaw, that is a signal that you may need more support, more connection, maybe more softness, more tools.

the-sober-butterfly_27_01-08-2026_074107: 23:14

So here's my closing thought for you. Dry. January can be a powerful starting point, but it is not sobriety. It is a pause, not a transformation unless you're using that data to transform your life. If you're doing dry January, I wanna say I'm so proud of you for being curious. And if you are sober, I am so proud of you for choosing a life that does not require numbing. Either way, the goal is the same. More honesty, more self-trust, more freedom. If this episode resonated, send it to a friend who's doing dry January, or maybe just to that friend who keeps saying, you know, I think I should take a break. And if you want accountability, DM me the word January and tell me your plan. Are you doing dry, Jan? Are you sober? What supports are you using? What are you protecting this year?

the-sober-butterfly_27_01-08-2026_074250: 24:14

before you go, if you haven't already done so, please do me a solid and leave a five star review for this podcast. It really helps. The podcast Grow so that more butterflies can find this podcast.

the-sober-butterfly_27_01-08-2026_074107: 24:29

Okay, butterflies. I love you. Keep choosing yourself and I'll see you in the next episode. Bye.