Running Toward Recovery: Tommie Runz on 9 Years of Sobriety, Endurance, Fatherhood & Community

What do you replace drinking with?

For Tommie Runz, the answer was miles, discipline, honesty, and community.

In this powerful episode of The Sober Butterfly Podcast, host Nadine Mulvina sits down with Tommie Runz — a sober endurance athlete, father, podcast host, and community builder — to talk about what nine years of sobriety has taught him about living with intention and pushing toward your next level.

Tommie shares the pivotal moments that led him to Alcoholics Anonymous, why truth-telling was the real beginning of his recovery, and how long-distance running became a tool for healing, clarity, and purpose. Together, Nadine and Tommie explore the deep parallels between endurance running and long-term sobriety, the role of community in recovery, and how sharing your story can help others feel less alone.

This episode is especially meaningful for anyone in early sobriety wondering “what now?” — and for those years into recovery who are still discovering who they’re becoming.

You’ll hear about:

• Tommie’s turning point and early days in AA
• Why honesty is foundational in sobriety
• The mental and emotional parallels between running and recovery
• How fatherhood shaped the way he shows up in sobriety
• The importance of community, service, and visibility as a Black sober athlete
• Using storytelling and social media to support others on their journey
• How to find your “thing” after quitting alcohol

Whether you’re sober, sober-curious, or years into your recovery journey, this conversation will inspire you to build a life you don’t want to escape from.

🎥 This episode is also available to watch on YouTube.

🔗 Connect with Tommie Runz

Instagram: @tommie_runz

🔗 Connect with Nadine & The Sober Butterfly

Instagram: @the.soberbutterfly

⭐ If this episode resonated with you:

Please share it with a friend, post it to your stories, and leave a rating and review. This is how we grow the sober community together.

Transcript

the-sober-butterfly_4_01-23-2026_095807: 0:00

hey butterflies. Welcome back to the Sober Butterfly Podcast. And if you are new here, welcome. I'm so glad you found us. I'm your host, Nadine, and this show is about sobriety, lifestyle, travel, wellness, and becoming. Real conversations about building a life you love without alcohol. Today's episode is one of those convos that reminds you that sobriety isn't just about what you stop doing. It's about who you start becoming because when you remove alcohol, something has to take its place. And for today's guest that something was Miles, discipline, truth telling, and community. I'm joined by Tommie Runz a sober endurance athlete, father podcaster, and community builder who just celebrated nine years of sobriety. What I love about Tommy's story is that he doesn't just talk about sobriety like a milestone. He talks about it like a way of living with intention every single day. This conversation is about endurance, endurance and sobriety. Endurance in life, endurance, and becoming that person you were meant to be. So if you've ever wondered, what do I replace drinking with? If you are maybe early in sobriety and searching for your next thing, or if you've been sober for years and still looking for your next level. This episode is going to hit, and if you prefer to watch your podcast, this full episode is also available on YouTube. Let's get into my conversation with Tommie Runz

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 1:43

Hello. Hello. Welcome to the Sober Butterfly Podcast. Today we are joined with a very special guest. We have Tommy runs here at the Sober Butterfly. Tommy is a sober endurance athlete. He's a father podcaster and community builder. I am wondering from you, Tommy, first of all, welcome to the show. How are you today?

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 2:07

I'm doing good. You're doing good. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to, to chat.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 2:11

I'm so excited to chat everyone is like, this guy is known for running. But then you also recently celebrated nine years of sobriety, which is. So incredible. Snaps to you all

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 2:21

Thank you. Thank you.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 2:22

more about your story and your journey, but when I was like introducing you, Tommy, just now okay. Sober endurance athlete,

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 2:28

Mm-hmm.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 2:29

Podcast host, community builder. I'm curious to learn from you, Tommy, which part, of that identity feels most alive to you right now?

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 2:39

I think all of them. I think a lot of times for me and like maybe for all of us, we have to maybe take a moment and step back a bit to, to realize, I mean, we can do all those things as long as you are living like with intention, you know? And I think when I'm not realizing, or when I'm very focused on one, or I don't feel attached to one of those things, it's because my mind or something is somewhere else that I'm, or I'm, for me it's because like maybe I'm procrastinating on something or I have something kind of like looming that makes me kinda get a little squirrely and I'll start thinking about you know, maybe I'm not this, or maybe I'm not that, but then I have to like kind of realign or make sure that I'm like moving with intention in all those areas.'cause they're all very important to me. Sobriety, sobriety first though. I've always like said that like from the beginning of my journey that sobriety is number one over everything and then my kids and then everything else after that. So, as long as I think those, that first pillar that is there and I'm aligned with that, I think we're, I think everything else would be good.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 3:46

I feel the same. I feel like sobriety has allowed me to express these multiple dimensions to myself

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 3:54

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 3:54

also don't feel like I can necessarily just be tethered to one identity.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 3:59

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 3:59

so sobriety, being at the core of that, has a, allowed me to really embrace all parts of myself, but without the sobriety piece.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 4:08

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 4:09

which I would love to get into if you don't mind sharing, because as mentioned, seriously, kudos to you. Nine years is a big deal, and I personally don't take sobriety for granted. And I know that you can't always quantify it. Like, yes, you have nine years, but like, I'm sure the quality of your relationships in your life has changed drastically throughout the course of this time. So my question for you, Tommy, is like, can you kind of walk us back. Nine years ago and talk to us about what life looked like for you so that can understand like where you were to understand where you currently are today.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 4:42

Okay. So yeah, like nine years ago I was at like the end of the road or the end of my rope necessarily.'cause I don't, I think the road could've was probably went a little farther. But I was at the end of my rope and to the point where it was. Like, there was no ultimatum given to me or like any issues or, you know, like threat of jail or whatever. I didn't get any, like, you know, any trouble with the law. But it was really just more of like, I, I felt like crap. You know? Like I literally had like all these signs and like, you know, the check engine light was. All the lights were on in the car, you know, like it was like something's wrong, something doesn't feel right, like every day. But then I also was just drinking every single day and all day, and I had no control, no thought of, you know, nothing positive, was really like swirling in my head. Life was going well though. I mean, I had a good job. I was building my career. The whole functional alcoholic thing, which I think is probably one of the. Most dangerous like terms that there can be because you are functioning and it's like, well, if this is working, then you start giving credit to the alcohol in a way that makes it so, like you can't even imagine yourself like without it. So I was just at this point where I was just sick of everything, sick of me and. I had the opportunity to, like, I kind of say tell the truth like three times. And I did that and it led me to a, a room of an AA where I walked in and I thought that, you know, it was like a room full of white folks that were middle aged and older. And I'm like, this isn't gonna be it, but I'll just, I, I told this therapist, I'd go, so whatever, I'm here. But then I heard all these people tell their truth. That mirrored mine in a way that I didn't think was possible considering the crowd or the group of people. And that's when I knew I was like at home and that's where I knew like, there's a future for me here.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 6:48

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 6:49

and so that was like the day that I officially was like, I'm gonna go, I can do this. Like, I'm gonna try, you know, but then that road was like. It was rough in the beginning because it was like, I was so concerned with 10 years, or nine years or a year, you know, or a month or, or six months. But it was like somebody just said like, I was worried about something that was coming up in three months and I was only like sober for two weeks. And I'm like, I got this work thing. That's what they do is they drink. And I'm known for drinking, you know, so like, I don't know what I'm gonna do. He's like, you talking about in March, this is January. Like, are you all right? Just relax, just go to sleep today sober and wake up, you know, and then wake up in tomorrow and try to go to sleep tomorrow night sober. And I'm like, okay. And that's that, that changed my life. So I was at a, I was at a rough, in a rough spot, you know, I just didn't like anything, you know, I didn't like me, everything was just so grim it felt like, and it was just kind of like, if I go down here, this road any further, I don't know what's at the end of it, you know? And I was, you know, scared and all that, but. I could go into like the three truths if you want. I just didn't wanted to like, get you in this

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 7:59

is so good that, that. I do wanna get to the three

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 8:01

because

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 8:02

to hear what those three troops were for you

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 8:04

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 8:05

if they are still true for you today. But I just wanna connect real quick because I feel like can resonate with parts of your story that I heard just now, which is this idea of like. Not quite reaching a rock bottom because I do think I was towards the end of my rope as well, but like I could have dropped, I could have plummeted a lot further if I really

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 8:24

Mm.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 8:24

it. And at the same time, it's like sometimes that's even more dangerous because to your point, when you're functioning and when you are drinking yourself, into a stupor or like, not even a stu, my tolerance was so high like,

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 8:38

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was never like wild. Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 8:40

Yeah, like I, I was known for drinking too, and like, don't get me wrong, I had moments where I was like very wild,

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 8:46

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 8:46

like, that was like a part of my identity. Like I was tethered to this idea of like, I'm a drinker. Like that's who I am. That's what people knew me for. But at the

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 8:53

same time

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 8:54

that I

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 8:54

I.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 8:54

like. You didn't like yourself. And I think that's when I woke up one day and realized like I didn't like my life, but it was more so like I didn't love myself and that's why I was treating myself this way and like turning to the one substance that I knew probably wasn't good for me. But at the same time I felt like it was helping me.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 9:13

Mm.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 9:13

like that cycle is just, I think, so dangerous for people because if your life is not quote, like on fire, if you're presenting a certain way,

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 9:21

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 9:21

you know. Mirrors or resembles somewhat of your drinking. Like, yeah, I like to

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 9:26

Yeah,

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 9:27

knew that, but like even when I quit drinking and got sober, I think people were like, oh, for real, Nadine, like, you're really not gonna drink. Like,

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 9:33

yeah,

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 9:34

I don't think people saw me as an alcoholic, which we can talk about the archetype of what an alcoholic

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 9:38

yeah,

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 9:39

look

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 9:39

I can.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 9:40

all day,

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 9:40

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 9:40

right?

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 9:42

Yeah. So like we used to, I mean, you like, I'll, I'll, I'll talk about the three truths, but you said a co you know, it's that that, that rock bottom thing I mean, that's also scary because it's like everybody's rock bottom looks so much different in some people's rock bottom is unfortunately like death, like yeah. Permanent, you know, or something that happens that there is no coming back from. Or you do something that hurt someone else that they can't come back from, you know? So that rock bottom thing in like looking like an alcoholic or being an alcoholic in like society's eyes, it looks like something that I wasn't yet, you know? My thought. It was like you're just stumbling down the street and don't have anything together and lost everything and. And that like, that's it. Like you're all the way, like you're just, or you're beating your kids or something. Like, it's just something so extreme. All those things happen, but you know, it's, you're playing with fire. If you think that like we all end, that, we all get a chance to get there.'cause we all don't get a chance to even get that low, you

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 10:47

That's

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 10:48

know?

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 10:48

That's very true.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 10:49

so, so for my rock bottom was more so just like. He is my, my fa my dad passed when I was eight years old. He was 39. And so, and he was, I mean, I don't like to call people alcoholics, but I mean, he was, my grandfather and him were alcoholics for sure.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 11:07

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 11:08

And so like I was getting to this point where I've just physically felt terrible for. A very extended period of time. You know, like I was I was 32 or 33 or whatever, like taking like high blood pressure medicine while drinking and trying to like keep that under wraps'cause you're not supposed to do both of those. And it was just like a really bad vibe. And it was just, I was scared. I was looking at my kids like, I don't, you know, basically, I don't know like how long I'll be here for you guys, you know? I'd like to stay, but I don't know if I can, I can't see myself being sober for seven days. You know? I was trying different moments Like dry January or something like that, or just anything. And I'd last like, you know, two days, three days, you know, maybe one, you know, sometimes. So when it came down to the end, so I have to give a quick shout out to like my best friend, um, his name's Donovan. Um, he. He definitely probably had like a, a drinking issue as well. But whenever I, I would be like, kind of really low, I would say, like, yeah, I need to stop drinking. He's like, yeah, let's do two weeks. Like, he would just jump in

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 12:12

It's

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 12:12

and for some reason he was able to do it, but then like, I'd be like three days in and be like, dang, I messed up. You know? And so every time I did that, like he would always make room for it, which is like, actually like in hindsight, like probably saved my life because the last time I tried. Was like 2017, you know, January, like January 1st. I'm like, let's do it. He's like, all right, bet.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 12:34

Yeah.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 12:34

then like four days in, I like was drinking in the middle of the night at his house.'cause there was still liquor in the house. I was like drinking at his house two in the morning and everybody was asleep. My kids were asleep, you know. My wife at the time, she was asleep, you know it was just like a sad moment. Two in the morning you're just drinking just because,'cause there's nobody else awake. It's not even fun, you're just drinking.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 12:54

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 12:56

but then some days later, like my mom text me like, mom's due. She lives like in Savannah, so she text me and she's like, Hey, how's my son? She did that like all the time. Like she'd always say, how's my son every now and then? And this time I said, not good. And that was like the first like truth that I, that I told. And I said, not good. And then she's like, all right, well you have insurance, so go talk to like employee assistance program and'cause they'll get, they may be able to give you a couple, so some pointers on who to go to, but then maybe even a couple free sessions. So turned out that I got five free sessions. But then in order to do so, the EAP Employee Assistance program, people call you and they like screen you to see.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 13:40

Right.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 13:40

going on and who are we gonna send you to? And they asked me all the questions, and then they asked me like, do you drink? I say, yes. And then, but I never lied about that. But then they're like, how many do you drink a day? Or how often, you know, how much do you drink a day?

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 13:52

Right.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 13:53

Normally I would say like, oh, just like two or three of whatever, you know?

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 13:56

Whatever the.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 13:56

And yeah, yeah, whatever. Like when will get you not arrested typically. But I was like. That depends on what I was drinking. Say if it was beer, you know, I don't know, 8, 9, 10 more, whatever. And then if it was alcohol, 4, 5, 6, whatever, you know, just until the night's over and I drink in the morning, like, and I just told them the truth and it felt freeing, but embarrassing.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 14:19

Right.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 14:19

Then I finally went to the therapist that they got me to, which was a marriage counselor. Because in my little spiel, I was trying to protect. Me still. So I'm like, yeah, my marriage sucks. You know what I mean? Like, just saying whatever I could to like make sure it wasn't just my fault, you know? Obviously I was the problem. So I walk in and she asked me about drinking again.'cause they obviously wrote something, but she was a marriage counselor, but she actually was mainly a substance abuse counselor.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 14:45

wow.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 14:46

And so she asked me, well, I mean, they, I think they were like, okay, yeah, he's, he's an alcoholic. Yeah. Yeah, you,

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 14:51

to

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 14:52

we, we got some, we got, we got somebody for you.'cause you're talking about, you don't even know how much you drink and you drink all day. You need somebody. So she asked me like, how much do you drink? And I told her the third truth. And that was like in person looking at somebody and saying like, I have no idea how to control this. I can't stop drinking, you know? And so she said, Hey, I have somebody that comes every week. this was Wednesday, the 11th of January. I didn't drink. I stopped drinking at like 10 50 the night before.'cause I didn't want to be smell like alcohol. So the 11th was my first day not drinking and then she's like, this is Wednesday. She said, go to this AA meeting on Sunday. You know, no pressure. But there's a guy that goes, he's cool. You should go with him. He's like, around your age. And I'm like, all right, bet I'll go. And then I purposely said like, well, let's try to not drink from Wednesday to Sunday, at least. Let's see what this is all about. And that was at the time, the easiest four days that I've ever had ever gone, not drinking. So it was like kind of weird in that sense. And I'm like, well, I don't, this is, this is going better than it normally does.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 15:51

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 15:51

Sunday I walked in that room and saw all these strange faces and they told my story to me. You know about themselves, and then I was like, that was it. So I just, I always remember like the feeling of telling the truth those few times that I had never done before that point, honestly, and that that saved my life. Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 16:12

I

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 16:13

I'm so happy that you,

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 16:14

found the, I don't know if it was courage per se, but there's a sense of relief for sure when

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 16:21

yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 16:22

what you've been holding onto for so long. Like I, I felt

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 16:27

I felt like I

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 16:27

dirty secret, like I

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 16:29

wasn't ready.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 16:29

confront the idea that like, I'm an

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 16:31

Alcoholic.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 16:32

of what we mentioned. Right.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 16:33

Mm-hmm.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 16:34

I don't fit the standard of what that looks like, but I knew that something was wrong with me. And similar to what you mentioned, like I confided. In a therapist for the first time. I went to therapy also for a different reason. I went to therapy'cause I was obsessing over this guy and immediately she was able to clock that. Like, no, there's something else going

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 16:55

Mm-hmm.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 16:55

I'm self-reporting to her like, oh yeah, I went out last night and like this happened. I have this bruise here. Like all of the things, and like to your your point, like I could not quantify, like, I wasn't even trying to lie, but like when people ask me how much I drank, like I didn't really

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 17:09

Yeah. I don't really know.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 17:11

I didn't know. I knew it was too much, but like, I also thought I could handle it

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 17:16

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 17:17

my life wasn't completely in shambles. But yeah, I, I just

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 17:21

I,

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 17:22

there's just so much relief when you release or you're able to start to release that shame. It doesn't come overnight. At least it didn't for me, but like the first time I was able to admit to someone that, yeah, like, okay, I, I, I do think I drink too

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 17:34

mm-hmm.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 17:35

What does that look like? How do I actually get help? Like

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 17:38

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 17:39

when you are ready to actually accept the help. Like that's where I think the true transformation

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 17:44

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 17:44

It's the start of the journey. It's certainly not the

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 17:47

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 17:48

can you kind of talk to us around what that looked like? Because when I got sober, I got sober at 30, so, my anniversary date is July 5th. You can imagine what my 4th of July weekend was

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 17:59

Oh

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 18:00

2021.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 18:01

Yeah. There's so many people whose whose sober date is January 1st, not because of dry January, but because they got like arrested on the 31st of December.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 18:09

Yeah, because I mean, for me it's like I could never complete a dry January, like you

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 18:14

Yeah. Nah, nah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 18:16

So like, there's no way, for me it was just like, okay, yeah, this is really just not working. But long story

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 18:21

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 18:21

I I, I wanna hear from you like, because I'm hearing at this time your father, you. Have a marriage, like I got sober at 30. I'm a single girl who's just broken. And I feel like I was able to kind of retreat

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 18:33

Inside.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 18:33

Like I do believe that connection is integral. Like you found connection in the rooms with AA and hearing your story through other

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 18:41

other people.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 18:42

I

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 18:42

I also Like,

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 18:44

we can talk about AA more in depth if you're open to that later.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 18:47

For me it was like,

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 18:49

I needed to kind of like isolate maybe isolation's not the best word, but like isolation for preparation, I'll say is something, a mantra I used to recite often because places things. Another adage

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 19:01

mm,

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 19:01

aa, like I was so triggered by like. My former life

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 19:05

mm-hmm.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 19:05

and I needed to kind of like

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 19:08

Take a step back.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 19:09

I

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 19:09

I didn't at the time,

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 19:11

the

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 19:11

connection to anyone

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 19:13

in real life, so

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 19:13

that's, I

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 19:14

just like

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 19:15

like, mm-hmm.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 19:16

isolate and try and figure out my life with the help of a therapist. But to hear from you, like, what was that process like? having to show up as a father and a husband, and now you're starting to accept help and go to meetings and find your new identity or start this journey of getting sober. What was life like for you in those early moments?

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 19:37

It was a little tricky. You know, at the time, I guess you could, I imagine like obviously like being a full blown like alcoholic and, you know, and. Really lying to yourself and just looking for any, like, thought of like just validation for yourself or

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 19:55

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 19:56

the things that you're, that you do that don't make any sense to anyone, even yourself, like the next day. You know, that caused like a lot of issues in a relationships, especially some people that are really close to you that like have to actually deal with it. Luckily my kids didn't like, really, they were at the time they were seven and, 10.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 20:15

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 20:16

I think there might've been like nine and six at the time when I was sober. When I got sober. So they didn't really like, see too much of it. Were just kind of too young to maybe understand all that was going on. But, you know, it was in the beginning, like I was, I was kind of on my own, you know, with that, with the, with the sobriety part of it. It wasn't like a big family thing. Like, all right, let's help, like, you know, it kind of sucked at the time'cause you know, she's still drank and, I mean, I don't think she had a problem, but she still drank and I didn't ask her to stop drinking.'cause I'm like, you know, I could do it by myself. You know what I mean? And I was kind of, you know, bullish in that. But it was probably a good thing for me because like, I had to make a decision like right away. It was a stubborn decision. It was a dangerous decision to not ask for things to be removed from the house. It was like, you know, that's kind of silly looking back. But then at the same time, it made me like, toughen up and go like, I don't need it. I don't want it. We already made this decision and it made me like, keep checking that decision that I made.'cause it was a decision, you know, to like to, to do this. So like every day I would have to like, this is your decision, like, we're, we're good. And then also.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 21:19

forever, we can't be

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 21:20

Yeah. Like, and so like to, you know, to add onto that, it was like two weeks into sobriety. I'm in these, I'm in AA meeting and I'm like talking about this trip that I have to go on my first work trip sober. And you know, if you go to conferences for work, like, that's like professional drinking rodeo, like everybody's drinking, you know, it's, everybody's got their business cards, everybody's having a good time. It's like. A good thing, you know, at, at some point you know that you couldn't be at the bar, you know, and I was worried about it and he told me, just take one day at a time. It is what it is, you know? But even to just 60 days, less than 60 days sober, I was like on a work trip in the thing, you know? And it made me really like armor up. Really? Like what I wanted to do with this. And I drank probably way too much Red Bull. You know, that first time around before I, no shade to Red Bull, but like, you should not be drinking like four, like three things of Red Bull on ice. But I always just had something in my hand but I also told everybody, you know, like if somebody asked me for like, Nope, I'm not drinking. I'm been sober for this many days. You know, and, and I said it like in a way that I felt like wasn't like, I can't, or just like, Hey, this is what I'm doing, you know? That's actually played out in my life a lot more too. Like when I started to run a year into being sober, you know, like I'm, you know, soon into it I'm like, I wanna qualify for the Boston Marathon. Or like, and I would say it out loud and I would say like, I wanna break three hours. I want to do this, I wanna do that. Like I'd say it on my Instagram and I would show the work that I was doing to get to and I still do it, you know?

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 22:54

Yeah.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 22:55

I think sometimes like sharing goals can add a lot of pressure, but some of us. You know, if you know yourself and sometimes like that pressure is good. So if you tell people, and I told everybody around me like, Hey, I'm doing this now. I don't know how long, but you know, that's what I'm doing right now. You know when I have like advice for marathoners or people training for marathons or this kind of, basically the same thing for sobriety. If you have a goal, like a big goal, which would be like staying sober, but or like saying you wanna run your first sub five hour marathon or whatever it is,

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 23:28

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 23:29

doing some of these things that we do or try to do in silence is not only silly at times, but almost selfish because the sooner that you can share. Your journey or the journey you want to go on with people that love you and people that care for you and people that have supported you when you had no goal. The sooner you tell those people that the sooner they can make a decision to support that goal in whatever way that they can. And then you also have a moment where if you tell somebody that, Hey, I want to be this, and if they have a issue with that,

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 24:05

right.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 24:05

you also know that they have an issue with where you're trying to go. And if you don't.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 24:10

It's a.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 24:12

Yeah, a hundred percent. So it's like in invite people along the journey with you because it's like, if you're just like trying to like tuck it and try to like, act like you're drinking everywhere you go, that's fine for some folks. Or like you got like a thing where you just make it look like you're drinking. I just feel like we've, as alcoholics and addicts, you hide and lie like so much.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 24:34

Yep.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 24:35

Like constantly to yourself, to everybody else, to doctors, to this, to that, to get sober, to then continue that like same energy in like a life that you really want to be proud of. Is counterintuitive.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 24:49

And this is the power of like sharing truths, right?

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 24:52

Mm-hmm.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 24:52

I feel so up and excited by what you just shared because it's so. Similar, not identical, but similar to remnants of my journey and my story, which

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 25:01

Mm.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 25:02

yeah, I lived a lie. I was lying to myself. I was lying to other people around the depth and the issue I had with alcohol and how much it was controlling me, even when I was able to,'cause I'm a highly competitive person. So even when I was trying to compete with myself and tell myself that, like, oh, you don't have a problem, so you're gonna prove it to yourself by

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 25:20

mm.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 25:20

this. Hiatus, right? And then doing it, but the whole time white knuckling my way through it just so I can prove that I don't have a problem. Like

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 25:27

Mm

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 25:28

so exhausting. But then. To your point, like when I actually decided that I was going to stop and I also like had these really lofty, ambitious, goals around, okay, I'm gonna make it to a year, but like

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 25:39

mm.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 25:40

sometimes feel counterproductive as well because it's like, now I'm, I'm afraid that I'm gonna fail. So self-sabotaging in ways. But

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 25:47

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 25:47

once I decided that I was this time, because that's another thing like I had tried before and failed once I really decided I was serious, I think telling people allowed me to actually. myself accountable in

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 26:01

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 26:02

as you mentioned, like it provided data, but I was so sensitive in the beginning of my sobriety. I don't know how you feel like when I did tell people,'cause I was like you, I was telling people like, no, I'm not drinking. I didn't have like a definite period of time in mind. Like I didn't actually think I'd be sober for the rest of my life, but I was just like, no, I'm, I'm for real. Done this time guys. For me, it was almost like when I said it, I felt better in saying it, but at the same time, I held some resentments, some like petty resentments against people because I know how I wanted them to show up for me. But anyone that wasn't like super supportive out the gate, I

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 26:38

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 26:41

You are not really my friend. And I think that's like a misnomer or misconception where it's like they say people lose friends in early sobriety. I don't personally believe you lose friends. I think like we release people sometimes that don't need to be in the season of life with us, especially if they're not supporting us. But I also feel like I didn't know how to communicate properly in the sense that like how I needed people to show up for me and therefore it's like. No. It's one thing if someone's encouraging you to drink, like that's,

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 27:10

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 27:10

not to, but like I think other things, so it was just like me being so sensitive in this moment as I was trying to emerge into this new version of self. It's like anyone that. Didn't invite me to places or didn't, you know, me in the same way. I felt a way towards, and like I feel like that's a personal, not regret'cause I have no regrets about how I have handled things because it's gotten me to this place. But I do tell people like. If I could do things maybe differently, I would have explained to other people that like, I don't need you per se to do anything for me except for just be there for me.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 27:45

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 27:45

don't think I was as receptive to allowing people to show up for me in the way that I needed. but I do agree, like, transparency is key because other

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 27:54

Yeah,

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 27:55

in silence and that's what keeps us stuck. Stuck

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 27:58

yeah,

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 27:58

long.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 27:59

I was gonna add, I've always been like a close, like a small group person, like a small friend group, three, four people max. Right now I got like.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 28:08

ask your sign? I'm sorry to be that

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 28:10

You said with the sign,

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 28:12

Yes. I

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 28:13

Leo.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 28:14

Leo. Okay. Okay, cool.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 28:16

So, so like, there was like, you know, so it was a little, a little easier for me. I mean,'cause they. They've known me, they've known me for so long that like, they didn't necessarily like meet me as a party person. And that's where they knew me for. And that's why we were friends.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 28:33

Right,

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 28:34

were friends for so long before like we all started drinking together probably. You know what I mean? And they're like, okay, you're not drinking though. That's fine. We, we, I rocked with you before, so we're good. You know, when you were 16, but somebody that's new, that's like, you know, I'm like three days sober and I'm really hype about it and I want to keep pushing. But I haven't, I don't know how to talk to people about it. I mean, I really think that, like, those moments, you know, I don't mind you saying like that. You're like, you know, I. Kinda like turned inward and like kind of isolated a bit. And then if you're isolating and then turning to like AA and establishing like different types of communication about your sobriety, I think that's a really safe way to go. Because sometimes like if you, if you really like look at the people, not saying that you should stop talking to all these people, but if you look at a lot of people around you that like, yo, when did, when did I meet this person? Like, not that there's no shade to them and they could be a good friend. Eventually, but like at this moment, like, do I need to share this with them?

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 29:35

right.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 29:35

know, like, because like if you're starting a business tomorrow and you have like this goal, I, I want to be a, a million dollar business in, in two years. You can't tell that to everybody

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 29:46

Nope. You have to

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 29:47

because

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 29:47

quantum field. I've

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 29:48

Right. You can, you can tell like this one friend that you know, that, you know, you'd shock me if you weren't. If this friend I'm talking about doesn't say like, oh dang bet, what do you need help? You know, you gotta tell people. Sometimes you have to, like, as adults, like you gotta realize like there's certain people that you can tell certain things

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 30:07

Right.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 30:09

and then maybe later when you're different and you're ready, then you could tell those other people that may have those shaky answers. Thank God for you. But there's so many people that like. Those initial wrong people that you tell, they don't mean anything by it maybe, but their reaction to it may not be like, no man, just, just take this drink. It could be just enough shakiness and not supportive enough to make you like, see, this is why I didn't wanna stop drinking, and next thing you know, maybe a day later or that day or two days later, you drinking again or doing whatever again.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 30:42

No, that's so true. Having the discernment to know who and who to tell and when to tell

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 30:46

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 30:47

is so integral because that key distinction is like the difference between someone who is unwavering in their journey and they're on the straight path because they have a ton of vision and they have the golden mind versus like when you. Share with people who are not ready or maybe able to receive what you're messaging

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 31:05

Mm-hmm.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 31:06

sharing with them. I feel like sometimes it's not even about you. It's like a mirror. You sharing is like projecting in a way, like their own fears and maybe around their relationship with

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 31:16

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 31:16

so on and so forth. And especially if the common ground'cause like unlike you, I will say this, like a lot of my relationships were. The common ground was based

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 31:26

Mm-hmm. Yeah, so it's so, it's tough. It's like, are you telling me you better than me? You know, like,

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 31:31

yeah.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 31:31

like,

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 31:32

you basically think you're better than me,

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 31:33

yeah, like.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 31:34

like they're gonna lose you as a friend because like, what else do we have in common, you know?

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 31:38

Yeah. And then, and then you got things like, who, how many times have you told these sets of people that you were gonna do? Two months. Two weeks?

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 31:48

and they don't because I, I wasn't serious because I'm hanging around these people who

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 31:52

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 31:53

supporting me. And so it's like if you're in

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 31:55

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 31:56

you know it's easier to slip.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 31:58

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 31:59

it's not that I think people are rooting for your failure, but it's like, I think it,

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 32:03

It's not the,

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 32:04

confronts

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 32:04

their journey.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 32:05

of the question. It's not their journey.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 32:06

It's not their journey. Like, you know, it's, it's just not, and that's why it tells, like you said, that discernment to really go, okay. Like sometimes like, oh, maybe I can't trust any of my friends with this at this moment. You know, let me get a little more whatever, and then I'll tell the one friend that I think I could take a chance on. But you really had like, you know, sometimes we do. Often, selfishly, especially, you know, ACO addicts and alcoholics we're selfish people. We're selfish people, you know, like we were living selfish lives for a very long time. So then we, we get into this thing like, everybody's gonna be so happy for me, they're gonna support me. They're not gonna drink around me anymore.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 32:41

Oh.

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 32:42

just gonna, they're just gonna, oh my gosh, we're all gonna be sober, like walking to the park. You know, like we somehow think everybody's gonna stop what they're doing and then support us. And if they don't, it shatters our, little confidence that we had. Yeah. So, yeah, so I, I mean, I didn't wanna like, you know, poke at like, the way, I just fear like,'cause I'm in a point too, like in this like whole journey thing too. Like where, you know, You gotta make sure, like as you are trying to shift even like small shifts in energy to be a better person or to be a more productive person, or to build something that you haven't seen before, or run a race that you never thought you could or whatever. You have to start kind of like checking around you to see like, okay, Whose energy's pushing this way? Who's pulling who's, and it doesn't mean like, okay, I'm gonna Texas this person and say lose my number. But it may just be like, right now, I gotta be over here. You know what I mean? Like all the people that we've seen successful at anything, they're not gonna have people around them that are doing the opposite of their, of what they're doing. It's just not gonna happen. So in this case, it's tough to be a sober person. Essentially, like all the people around you are just still kind of in that other lane, and that's just a slippery slope. And even if you stay sober it, it's not gonna be the healthiest sobriety journey, you know?

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 34:04

It is not, and I think there is also a distinction around like sobriety in the sense that, okay, I don't drink versus. In programs like aa,

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 34:14

Mm.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 34:14

idea of like growing along spiritual lines like spiritual sobriety or like realizing that like, it's not even that I can't do it with alone or like a higher power, although I do believe that you need a strong purpose, a strong why and a connection to something outside of yourself to. Personally stay the course, and I know that can be controversial for people, but I also believe that when you are not fully. That new identity, like

tommie-runz_2_01-16-2026_173723: 34:45

Mm.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-16-2026_173721: 34:46

the key piece, like in the early stages of trying to figure out who you're becoming, like you do have to have discretion around, as we mentioned, who you share things with and discernment around like your purpose and why you're doing this. And if it's going back to the selfish piece being like alcoholics and addicts like, yeah, selfishly I want people to clap for me. I want my roses. So all of that I think plays a role.

Nadine Mulvina: 35:09

And now a quick word from our partners.

the-sober-butterfly_25_12-24-2024_142305: 35:11

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the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 36:26

I'm curious to learn from you, Tommy, going back to the three troops you shared. Truth number one, you shared with your mom, I'm not, well, I'm not doing well,

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 36:35

Mm-hmm.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 36:36

that immediately makes me think of mental health. And so much of our emotional, mental health and spiritual state can be aligned to obviously how we show up in the world and I think so often people who drink or use substances in excess, it's about escapism. Sometimes it's about numbing. It's about not necessarily doing the work around trying to get better and feel better where it has prolonged positive impact as opposed to just like immediate quick release. So my question to you is, looking at that truth, how are you doing? How has that changed for you? Nine years ago to today. And how soon did you start to quote, maybe feel better? I'm not gonna quote you, you didn't say that, but like how soon did you start to feel better in your sobriety

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 37:29

So I feel like that part getting through those first, like few steps it felt like a, like a shift in power for me. And it like created this very quick like momentum. At least just internally that just felt like it was like fueling me in charge of me. So like in that moment, the not well part outside of physical

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 37:50

Right, right.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 37:51

obviously trash. but outside of that, the, I'm not, okay. Like I'm not Okay. Was more mental and more like spiritual, emotional.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 38:00

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 38:01

was because I had no control or grasp on like. How to own anything. It was just all, random moments of like, where's the next drink, you know?

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 38:12

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 38:13

So I kind of felt better and like kind of almost immediately in that sense. And it felt like, I was like, okay, I don't know what this looks like, but at least I know that I did the first steps really.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 38:24

Right.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 38:25

And, then. When did I start feeling better? And feeling like good about my sobriety? I feel like it was only like really only like a couple months in.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 38:36

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 38:37

I don't know if I felt like clear, like I didn't feel, I started to feel some type of clarity. Like I was like, oh, I'm so clear. I'm just, I can, I can see

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 38:44

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 38:44

clearly

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 38:45

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 38:45

know?

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 38:46

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 38:46

You have no idea if you're like a couple months sober, you're just like, just keep going bro. You're good. But then I started to see, you know, it probably was like maybe two months.'cause I started to see myself in the mirror

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 38:58

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 38:59

differently than. Then I maybe thought that I did, like, I'm like, oh, I don't even, I look crazy. You know, like, I don't like this at all.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 39:08

Oh my gosh.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 39:09

know what I'm saying? I'm like, this is terrible. Like I'm, you know, like, why is she even still with me? You know, like type of vibe. So like, I started going to the gym like right away, and then I was going to the gym six, seven days a week, six, seven. I got kids, I'm sorry.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 39:27

It's a addiction replacement. They talk about in

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 39:30

yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 39:30

positive.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 39:31

a positive way, right? So I was going to the gym and I was just like going seven days a week but I was just really trying to like reattach to like feeling physical and like in charge of myself. And then I got like, actually got like pretty big, you know, like, and then my name was something else before on Instagram, and then I changed it to Tommy Guns, like on the play of like,

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 39:52

I love that.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 39:53

play, you know, like a Tommy gun back in the day, you know, Tommy Buns from, you know, from. Belly. And then,

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 40:00

The movie. Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 40:00

'Cause he was Tommy Buns or

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 40:01

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 40:02

so I'm Tommy Guns on Instagram.'cause like my arms are really big and I was like lifting all the time. I was in the gym all the time. And then eventually like a year later, I started running and started getting more into that and I changed to Tommy runs.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 40:12

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 40:13

But I started feeling good in that like that. I pushed everything fast. Like I was like, okay, I don't feel good. I don't look good. Let's go all the way with

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 40:22

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 40:23

eating better, pushing forward, using all that energy and all that. Like I, I say that, know, I think we look at some of the things that are air quotes, like wrong with us as something that's wrong. But we don't ever look at benefits or like the plus sides to like. the way we are, you know? And if I can, if I can drive across the country with red lights and alarms going off my car to tell me to stop

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 40:57

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 40:58

could just

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 40:58

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 40:59

just like I did with alcohol. I look past all the signs, all the things, everything that's telling me to stop. I chose that every day.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 41:07

Right.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 41:07

And I, I fought through it. I'm negotiated with myself. I drank this instead of this Could keep going, you

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 41:14

yeah,

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 41:15

and that's, I don't care what nobody says. Like that is a dumb strength. It's a strength.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 41:20

it's a superpower.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 41:21

superpower, but it's a dumb one if you know you're using it the dumbest way possible.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 41:25

Yep.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 41:25

But the same thing that had me able to do that. I look at that at these times when I decide to be in the gym or decide to be a runner or decide to be vegan, it's like, okay, all that wildness that like, just let me just keep pushing and keep going no matter how I felt about it. I can do this in endurance running. I can do this

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 41:47

Right.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 41:47

I can do this any moment because there also will be no moment in running or any other thing that will be as low as the long low.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 41:57

Right.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 41:58

I was in for drinking.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 41:59

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 42:00

Just, that's just like how I, how I felt about it. And people do say like, oh, you swapped for another addiction. And i've listened to Rich Roll for years now, and his book and his podcast actually came at a really great time for me'cause I was get, just got vegan and been sober for a year. So it was like this really cool thing I started running. and he talks about weather running or these, you know. Endurance stuff is an addiction to like a swap. But he is like, you know, an addiction to him is something that you do repeatedly, uncontrollably that has a negative consequence.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 42:31

Right.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 42:32

But the part for me is the negative consequence. But then also I didn't have a choice, you know, and I just did, you know, but. Now, like every time I step out the door to run or go to the gym or anything like that, or spend time with my kids or whatever else I've dedicated myself to, I have a choice. And I continue to make that choice every day, all day. You know? And to me there's no addiction in that. Like, I may really like it. There's no point where I'm just like, I look up and all of a sudden I'm running, I put my shoes on, I made the decision.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 43:06

That's so fair. Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 43:08

you know, I think it's fun to say like, oh yeah, just, nah, I do this. Like, but we don't give ourselves enough credit for making the decision to change and then the choices that we have to make over and over and over again to not like let our alcoholic minds that would just have us wandering around doing nothing to make choices to do things that are the right way.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 43:27

Yeah, I agree. And another like minor, but significant difference between addictions, like drinking and like when people try to say like, working out, because I'm a workout fanatic and for me, it's a part of my mental health. Like if I don't work out, I, I don't feel well. So like that's where people are like, that's dangerous. I'm like, no, that's me Being proactive. I think for me, another key distinction is like this idea that when I was drinking, it was for a short term ramification. Like it was a immediate hit of dopamine. I think I feel better versus when you run or when you move your body intentionally, that is you promoting serotonin, like the, like you are rewiring your circuits, right? Like this is promoting a healthy lifestyle. When did you fall in love with running Tommy? Because I just think it's like, so. Telling how many people that I meet in recovery spaces and in sobriety who have run a marathon, myself included. So like at what point though, did it become like, oh no, this is not just a hobby. This is not just something that I'm doing to like trade, you know, going from the gym to now I'm gonna be a runner. Like, when did you actually fall in love with running?

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 44:36

I don't really know. I feel like it was kind of like a gradual thing, but like I ran, I got invited to run a half marathon in July or something like that of 2018, and. Then like, so I started like running in like March or whatever, just like, okay, I'll do it. You know? And I was like, raising money for like this foundation that does really good work. And so I'm like, I'll do it. And then during that race, I just loved the concept and it felt very reminiscent of like walking into aa.'cause it was so many people that didn't look like me, but we all were doing the same thing and we were all like, suffered to get there. We all like suffered all the way through. And we had the same goal.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 45:13

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 45:13

the race, finish the race.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 45:14

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 45:15

It felt very, like, comparable. And I,

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 45:18

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 45:36

longer than you've been sober. You

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 45:38

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 45:38

I still haven't reached ti like I've been sober. Yeah. I'm not on the other side of the, so of the sober thing, as I started running, it was so new to black folks too. Like, I mean, people that would follow me on like Facebook or whatever, like we didn't see a bunch of people like running around like, oh, you ran 10 miles. That's crazy. You know, like, so I was getting like comments that made me feel good and it reminded me a little bit'cause I didn't wanna be like, Hey, I'm sober again. Sober, sober, sober. So it's like you kinda like weighing off of that dopamine hit of like somebody telling you, good job for being sober. And then I started feeling like, oh, this running thing is cool. I like the way it makes me feel. I like the struggle. Everything just kind of reminded me of like sobriety,

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 46:15

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 46:15

In a way like,'cause it was just like the physical form of the sobriety for me.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 46:20

Yeah. You push yourself to limits that most people would call it.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 46:26

Yeah, you call it and then it just keeps getting easier, you know, like. Slowly but surely, being in different places and around different things just becomes easier, you know?

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 46:35

absolutely.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 46:35

I just like,

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 46:36

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 46:36

this, you know, and I'm just gonna keep pushing. And then I started setting big goals and then I was like, then I was in once, I was like, I knew that, like a runner, you can kinda a goal and then maybe get like a coach or something like that and actually break down the process of how to get somewhere and try to do that process and then show up at the race and just. what happens. You know,

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 46:59

I love that.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 46:59

you know, it was a vibe. So I feel like I, I don't know when it was, but I was just like, this is my thing. It was around, it was probably around the time I changed my name. I don't know what day that was, but when I changed my name to Tommy runs, that was probably when I was all the way in there.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 47:11

That's beautiful. What was your second truth again?

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 47:15

Second truth was, I was just told the EAP, I told them how much I actually drank.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 47:20

The third truth was

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 47:21

Third truth was like saying it again to a person. Like in in person.'cause that's, that was tough too.'cause like could have just skated outta that and just started saying some other stuff about somebody else, you know? Well, you know,, but I stuck with it I mean, it seems simple, but it was just like, I had never done that before. I had never said that three times. Like I told my friend, Don.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 47:40

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 47:41

because he knows and whatever, but that's, that's safe. You know? He's not gonna judge me. He is

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 47:45

Right.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 47:45

whatever. I know, you know, but telling three people that didn't know or know you, that you are like, in your mind, a loser,

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 47:54

Mm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 47:54

It's like, it's, it was freeing. It's like, okay, cool. We got that off our backs, you know? Now let's see where we can go from there.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 48:01

And it's, it's gone far. I wanna shift gears and kind of wind down talking more about what you've created because. I was looking at your Instagram or stalking it a little bit, trying to do research for today, and I feel like for what I'm picking up from you is this sense of community and service, which makes sense in connection to like a AA and like this understanding, like to be of service to other people and not. Solo or isolate like how I approached the early parts of my sobriety. So I would love to learn from you like how the collective works in your mind and why none of this is like truly solo because you host runs from my understanding, and you invite people in on that journey. And you talked about the parallels, which I've never actually made those explicit parallels between sobriety and running, but like I can see it very clearly. But yeah, talk to us about how community has supported or how your community building has supported your sobriety. Maybe just people's journeys along the way.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 49:00

Well, so yeah, when I hear like community builder, like you asked me earlier, like, which ones, you know, that one doesn't, I mean, it resonates.'cause like, I mean, I can and have like done, you know, some runs I hosted in my first race, the Detroit Classic last year. And that was like in response to a brand deciding to not do one that they

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 49:18

Wow.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 49:18

couple years in a row. So I was like, the community was like liking that, so we're gonna do it, and we did it a little differently. And hopefully this year it'll be even better. But I think where for me I build more of a community a. A social or like or like international like type of community that has like an understanding of, or a desire to like out like how to go the next step or next level, whatever that is.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 49:50

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 49:51

and I've always been very open about my sobriety and about my journey and then

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 49:56

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 49:56

how I feel. myself or this run or what this means, or how things, and I think people, that resonates with people.'cause there's so much right now, like when I started doing content and stuff like that, it wasn't like in 20 20, 20 20 and 2021,

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 50:12

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 50:13

wasn't like a bunch of influencers like that. It wasn't influencer or culture yet.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 50:17

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 50:17

So all my thing was I was just like telling my story, you know, and how it. Played into where I was at that time. So I build community in that sense of like, I share my truth, and then whoever decides that they like that

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 50:31

Right.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 50:32

like the authenticity of that, then you're with me. You know? And if I see you out at,, a marathon, what's up? We talk or whatever. But when I started getting comments like dms, that somebody's saying like, you know, I'm 30 days sober or a year sober, or 20 years sober, or whatever. Or

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 50:47

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 50:47

I'm not sober yet, even, and I'm just struggling. Like, what do I, you know, those mean like so, so much to me. Like I was in a room at Trail Con, which is like between these two races that are in the trail space.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 50:59

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 51:00

And the thing was about content creation and that somehow I went off on this tangent somehow about like sobriety and what this means, and like where I'm from. You don't see mountains like this, you know? And

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 51:11

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 51:12

could be life changing for someone to be able to see like how far you can go away from where you were.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 51:16

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 51:17

and then somebody came up to me, like in the village, like after we were like, I was walking through this like little town and then he like pulled me off to the side and was like, bro, I'm four days sober, only because I haven't had a drink since I've been here

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 51:30

Mm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 51:30

I'm struggling. I'm da da da da da. Like it's whole big thing. And that like, I almost cried in this village is like,'cause there's just like, that's what I'm here for. That's my community. My

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 51:40

Right.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 51:40

is, is people who desire to. Show up better, different change, whatever, you know. But there's people who really like run club leaders and things like that who really like, like the backbone of all of this stuff because they're literally building communities and safe spaces for people to go to.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 51:59

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 51:59

so I see myself as more of a person that has a community that's just kind of connected and we all connect through this, this struggle

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 52:07

Great.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 52:08

is, you know,'cause. There's more people in this world that are unhappy and hurting than there are people that aren't.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 52:16

Yeah,

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 52:16

I resonate with the, with the unhappy at times and a little hurt, you know?

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 52:21

I mean, that's the human condition I feel, right? There's no joy without pain and vice versa. And like, I think the transparency that you have in that visibility, especially as a black creator, a black male creator. Is so important because so often men in general, and I, I hate to generalize, but like, forgive me here, I do feel that there's still a lot of work to be done around men's mental health and like talking through some of the struggles and the issues and not feeling like you have to carry that burden Alone in isolation. And that's when we see all of these things kind of show up in ways that are less healthy. So going back to that moment with that man that you connected with and him disclosing that truth to you, like, Hey, this is my fourth day just because I'm here. Like something compelled him to speak to you because you shared right. And like that's the power of social, like people. Sometimes I feel diminished the value of like even your social presence online. And I'm like. Instagram helped get me sober because I didn't have any positive influences in my life. I didn't have anyone talking to me four years ago that I knew in person that I respected or trusted or that I saw myself in talking about the things that I was internally struggling with. So I just wanna commend you on that and like now that you need me to, but like that work is. Saving lives. Truly saving lives. So thank you for that. And I'm so excited that you're continuing to do that and spread awareness, because if you don't see or hear, and it's, the irony is like when you mentioned going to your first meeting, it was in a room for the white people who maybe you didn't feel like you had much in common with, but then in hearing. You were receptive and open to listening to their story, and you didn't immediately just shut down and say, okay, well these people could never resonate with my life. Like you were ready. That's how you know that you were ready in that moment. But so many people would just tune out the noise and make excuses, like immediately go into that. Like, well, this is not me. So like. I, I'm not gonna connect to this. So yeah,, that's why I think it's so important, especially as a black woman to like talk about these stories because my life online looked perfect it presented this way, and in reality it was anything but that. And so it's like, yeah, when you have the courage to just say it, and it's not just self-serving for you, although it helped me stay accountable, but like when I was really ready to start talking about this. Publicly. That's when I was like, oh crap. Like people that I knew in my personal life, forget even people online, people that were seeing it, that I was so worried that would make fun of me or think that I was cringe. Like these are the same people who are like actually needing, like, how did you stop drinking? So it's just like, you don't even know, like, it's not even like in the ether of the internet. Like people in your day-to-day are struggling like that. You may not

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 55:11

yeah,

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 55:11

be aware of.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 55:13

yeah. And, and. Hats off too though. on your sobriety as well. And

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 55:18

You.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 55:18

but also huge, like, congrats and, more than Congrats,'cause like the fact that you, that you said, Hey, I'm gonna start a podcast and, and talk

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 55:26

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 55:27

you know, as often as possible is like that extra step. Like I've been able to tell my story while doing something else and just kind of like weave it in there. And in fact, like. I posted that nine years that nine years sober on January 11th. You know, the post, the post received good feedback. Most people know I'm sober. I mean, it says it in my bio,

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 55:47

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 55:47

I, I talk about it when I feel emotional or when I feel something

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 55:52

Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 55:52

happening. And when I'm, like, if I, you know, not to flex, but I'm like in France or whatever, like in these mountains, and I'm like looking around like, This is insanity.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 56:04

Right,

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 56:04

so those reflections always often, or most of the time, end up with me mentioning something about my sobriety. And like without that I wouldn't be like, there's no chance I'd be here without

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 56:16

right.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 56:16

But hats off to people like you that are not willing and, you know, you Yeah. And, and, but that's, but that's, that's super, super needed. In fact, like when I did my first interview. Like, it was like I was invited on the live Instagram live with this, with the Believe in the Run way back in 2020 or whatever it was. And he asked me a couple questions about like my life and stuff like that. And I got to like that point where like we were about to talk about maybe my sobriety and then I like said a little something and I joked it off and then went into another direction. And then I got off of that, that call feeling like I had this opportunity and I felt so bad. And ashamed and sad and angry with myself that like I didn't share like my truth and I didn't. That doesn't mean I had to like go all the way through all the whole story, but I could have, I, I shied away from telling the truth

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 57:08

Mm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 57:08

and I always say the people that in those rooms, sobriety, in those AA rooms, them telling their truth, saved my life. So there's not a chance that any after this point, I'm never gonna, if somebody asks me about something about sobriety, there's not a chance that I'm not gonna say as much as I need to say at that moment.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 57:25

Yeah,

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 57:25

next time I got on the podcast. It was like a full podcast interview and as soon as the question came, we, we were all the way there. And then at from that moment, my thing is I'm gonna talk about the things that, that I resonate with. I'm gonna talk about the things that matter

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 57:39

anything.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 57:40

And if somebody can hear me talk about sobriety, and didn't even have an issue, but they take away something

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 57:46

Right,

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 57:47

somebody tells you that they, that they got sober after a, a life of drinking, to me is the same thing. Is somebody saying that they, they scaled Mount Everest.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 57:57

right. Yeah.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 57:59

ways I'm, I'm inspired by somebody that can scale Mount Everest or throw a football to 80 yards. So I'm gonna tell my story that I feel like I'm in, I'm impressed by myself with at times. So hopefully there's ways that somebody can take this story and do something with it in their own lives. And kudos to you for like, having conversations that do that often.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 58:20

And C to to you as well. Thank you for that. But also, the fact that you, and this is like the truth about

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 58:26

about

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 58:26

getting sober and like doing the work actively because you, in that moment you were like, dang, I had an opportunity and I didn't. Go there. And you use that though as a launching point for you to not make that same mistake again, or like use that as another opportunity to like continue to be safe, feel safe or secure in the moment of like, okay, well I'm gonna just, just gonna talk about this other part of my identity. I mean, like when I was preparing questions, I had questions related to running. Tommy, we barely talked about running today.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 58:56

Sorry. Yeah. You should have told me you, you got actual questions? I would've shut up

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 59:00

No, this is, no, this is great. No, this is like my preferred method. Just like talking because this is what's gonna connect to people. Like, you just seem like a cool dude. And this sounds so shallow, but it's the truth. Me going to Instagram looking up sober talk and, well, this is before TikTok, like sober Instagram, like the hashtags, whatever, like sober curious. I had to find black women. That I thought were pretty, this is so shallow that I was like, oh, maybe they, they, and like that's what got me in the door. That's why I stayed sober or like how I got sober. But like just seeing examples, representation really does matter. The point in me mentioning that Tommy is like you talking about running is like that. Is a part of your identity,

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 59:44

Mm

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 59:44

and that's gonna get people potentially feeling like connected. Oh, who's this cool dude that runs and he's sober Because you do talk about sobriety. It's in your bio. So like, that's another way that you're bringing people into the fold. So like, I don't want to diminish that fact either. Like you,

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:00:00

appreciate

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:00:01

like, I just wanna make that clear, like it's very clear that you're sober by looking straight, you know? So like.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:00:07

I mean, at least that's, at least that's what I say, you know?

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:00:09

Because sometimes it's scare, sometimes like butterfly. I don't, I don't about that. It's like

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:00:14

Yeah. Right.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:00:15

about sobriety. I talk about other stuff, but like, so it's like polarizing either way. Like it's hard to like please everyone, but

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:00:22

I mean, but you can't, but

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:00:23

you.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:00:24

yeah. Yeah. If you, yeah, you can't, like, I think everybody's, I mean, we can't, should try to be kind to everybody. You can't please everybody, but We all should have, you feel compelled, we all have some type of thing that if we share it could help people. And we can't always be worried about trying to figure out how to like, make so, you know, sober butterfly appeal to like something else. You know, like

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:00:51

Girl who doesn't,

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:00:52

that. Yeah. It's not for that,

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:00:53

not.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:00:53

know? And yeah. Yeah, because that, that was the, that was the thing. Like I got off the podcast and it, it sounds extreme, but it's like, yo, what if somebody was listening to that and like, maybe me saying something like, have saved their life

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:01:08

Mm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:01:08

in some way or someone else's life because they drank and they went outside and did something crazy. You know? To me, it's that dire if somebody, I, I don't want to keep dragging, you know, keep dragging'cause we're trying to close this out here. But, you know, if you're listening to this and it's like. You know, somebody that's struggling or whatever, or if you know of like an organization that like raises money to help people that are like this.'cause I actually, I raised money when I ran from LA to Vegas. I raised like 7,000 bucks and like$7,000 is literally the average cost to have one person in rehab for one month. And I kept like trying to like tell people like, look like this actually will. save someone's life, but then you have no idea like how far, like saving that one person potentially from like, and having this person maybe become sober and live a life of sobriety literally changes like their family's trajectory. Like if, if like a mom or a dad or somebody or a brother, like,'cause the end of the road for people that are stuck in addiction is ne is not good if they don't stop. And that changes a family's trajectory forever as well. But for me, like me getting sober, changed potentially everything. I'm three years older than my dad was when he died

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:02:28

Wow,

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:02:29

And

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:02:30

beautiful.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:02:30

my, you know, and my kids like, I'm here. I see them, they're with them and we hang out. They know I'm sober. I talk about it.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:02:38

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:02:39

that, that apparently listen to my story and maybe decide to do something. People tell me how many days they are sober at the moment, you know, like. If somebody had donated$3 and that was the way that I got sober, that$3 saved my

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:02:53

Right.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:02:54

my families everything, and maybe saved others. So it's that serious. And thank you for inviting me on the pod, because in my opinion, after like posting and remembering what people feel about when I share these

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:03:07

Mm-hmm.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:03:08

I'm like. First thing you see is sober black runner, and I'm always black and I'm always running, but I don't talk about sobriety as much as I feel like I should. And I appreciate the opportunity to be on your podcast and kind of remind me of like, what all this is for because you know, I love running the marathons and all that stuff, but when I'm dying one day in like 40 years or whatever it is. I'm not gonna be like, man, that marathon time was great. You know? but I will hopefully be thinking about like the things that I shared that maybe helped other people.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:03:40

That's so beautiful. You have helped me even in this conversation and I know you're helping people and when people hear this episode and share, we don't know. Like that's the thing. Like we just think that we are powerless in this. Cog, right? The system that we live in, and it's like, no, these are real people. Even when you mention raising money,$7,000, that just sounds like an arbitrary number,

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:04:02

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:04:02

you make it real for people, like actually that's a seat in rehab that can save someone's life for a month. Like they can get help that can potentially not just change their life, but the entire trajectory of. Family lineage like people don't understand. And I think I,'cause this can go on and on, I can talk to you all day, Tommy, but I'll say grew up as a child of an alcoholic. And I think the irony is like. I was so disgusted by like seeing that

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:04:27

anyway.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:04:28

that's who

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:04:28

it

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:04:29

I became. And like to see someone that you love kill themselves slowly, like people don't understand like the impact of that man. Like they don't understand like the true ramifications of how that can impact not just the person who's suffering, but like everyone that loves that person who's suffering.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:04:45

Mm-hmm.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:04:45

like literally like there I was. Following in the same,

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:04:49

it again.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:04:49

right. So it's just like you broken cycles over here and like that's what people don't realize. Like it's not just about you as an individual, it's the collective. And like we all can help, like not even like money, just like talking about it, like

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:05:01

talk, share.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:05:02

making it normal. Like it's not you, it's a substance. It's an insidious substance meant to. Keep someone stuck.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:05:11

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:05:11

more and more anyway. We can be here all day. I just wanna wind down with you, Tommy, and play a quick rapid fire game. Really sharp. Alright, so let's play. What is one lesson Running taught you about life?

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:05:25

You can do almost anything you stick to it and, and work the plan.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:05:30

I love that. One word to describe sobriety today.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:05:34

today. Peaceful.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:05:36

Ooh, I like that. Peaceful and a mantra you return to.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:05:43

Oh man, I have so many. Right now. Oh, the newest one that I found in the race. One that, like I found it somewhere in the race. It was, figure it out.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:05:53

Ooh, figure it out.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:05:55

out. Mm-hmm.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:05:55

I love that. Last rapid fire question for you and feel free to pause and think for a second.'cause this one is kind of deeper. Just. Advice for someone early in sobriety who's trying to find like their outlet or their way.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:06:09

I would say to someone that's trying to find an outlet or something like that, feels like it's meaningful enough to replace. All of what we, what you used to do and keep you anchored is just try things, you know, just try new things. Try the things that you thought you couldn't do because you were drinking or drugging, you know, that was me. Like I, who drinks a bunch and then goes to the gym. So I started going to the gym'cause I wasn't drinking. And then that led to doing like, hit workouts and then that led to being like, oh, I think I might be fit enough to run a half marathon. And then now I'm. Here's what, how many ever years later? Eight years later. so just try things because if you do it in the sense of like curiosity, like, I wonder if I like this. I wonder what this is, like this new version of you that's just clamoring for like, something to pour all of the good that you have something. We'll find that thing and you'll be off to the races for sure.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:07:10

That's beautiful. That's my favorite word. Curious like just get curious. Listen to your inner voice. There's something nudging you for a reason. Anyone listening right now? You're listening for a reason

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:07:21

Mm-hmm.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:07:21

Just get curious and don't over intellectualize the process because we often do that as well.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:07:26

for sure.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:07:27

Well, Tommy, thank you so much. I'm honored to have you on today and I've learned so much from you. Where can folks connect with you? I wanna plug everything in the show notes, but any last words

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:07:38

No, I just, I appreciate it. It would mean the world to me if you all like this this episode to share it on all the platforms or whatever. If you hear anything that like really interests you, follow me, hit me up, DM me, I'm at Tommy runs or at tm, IE. I just, I'm just happy to be here.

the-sober-butterfly_3_01-16-2026_181431: 1:07:55

Thank you for being here, Tommy. I appreciate you.

tommie-runz_3_01-16-2026_181433: 1:07:59

Yeah, for sure. Happy to be here.

the-sober-butterfly_5_01-23-2026_100246: 1:08:02

Wow. I hope that you felt the conversation the way I did. Tommy's story is, for me, such a powerful reminder that sobriety isn't the end of something. It's actually the beginning. Of discovering what you're capable of when you live with intention. Running became Tommy's outlet, his discipline, his healing, his service. But the deeper message here is that you don't just quit drinking. You build a life that makes you not want to go back. So if you're early in sobriety and still searching for your outlet, let this be a sign to start exploring. Get curious, like Tommy talked about, try things, move your body, get uncomfortable. Find your miles, whatever that looks like for you. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. Text it to a friend, post it in your stories. This is how we grow the sober community together. Make sure you're following the Sober Butterfly Podcast, and if you haven't yet, please leave a rating and review. It really helps more than you know. Check out the show notes to connect with Tommy and me, and I'm so proud of you for being here today for listening and for choosing yourself. I'll see you next Friday in the next episode.